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clayton jennings - please don't kill yourself || spoken word lyrics

[verse 1]
please don’t k!ll yourself, i’m talking to you
and i don’t pretend to know everything that you’ve been through
but if it’s shame you feel, just know that i’ve sinned too
and if it’s pain you’re feeling just know that that’s something i went through
i don’t know your story but i know you and me are a lot alike
so let me talk to you for a minute while i got this mic
i was 18 when i pulled a gun out
at the time it felt like my options had run out
so i put that barrel to my chest and i pulled the trigger half way
and tried to muster up the courage to put myself away that day
but halfway into that trigger pull, i stopped, tears flooded my eyes and that pistol dropped
and i sat in my room and i sobbed for an hour
on the outside i was fine, on the inside i cowered
the noise of my depression had gotten louder and louder
i had planned a way out in a baptism shower of gunpowder
i’d been lied to just like you’re being lied to now
other people can’t help you but i might know how
cause i’ve walked in your shoes, and i’ve been in my lowest
and if you don’t know anything, know this
you might tell me you’re gonna k!ll yourself and you’re close to this
but god wants to meet you in the middle of your hopelessness
god wants to give you a way out of these feelings of doubt
and the sounds of chaos might be reverberating around you like heavy metal
but confusion isn’t from god, it’s straight from the devil
and he wants to silence the noise and bring peace to you
and i promise if you just ask him he’ll see you through
you got to this place because you tried fighting your own fight
and where did that get you except contemplating about taking your own life
and if you got bullied to this point, i’m sorry you went through that’
but god wants to take those words from your attackers and send them back
you don’t have to be defined by what people said about you
let me pick you up if you don’t know how to
you’re not alone man, you’ve got a friend in me
you’ve got better days ahead of you, i just pray you begin to see
know that everything the devil did to you, he wants you to replay
but everything the devil took from you god wants to replace
listen to me right now, you better look me right in the face
you were created for more than to die in this place
don’t do it man, please don’t take your life
just take my hand, and we’ll make this right
i promise if you do this you’ll regret it
you’ll wake up in eternity and remember i said it
and you’ll wish so bad you can just go back
i’m here for you right now, please just know that
and if you think you’re alone in this fight you’ve been lied to
that depression came after me and i nearly died too
i thought suicide was the only way and death was meant for me
the devil played his music and i sat front row to that symphony
i walked through the fire and i felt that heat
but i pushed past the clutter and i stood to my feet
i walked out and i refused to look back
i took my depression and threw it right back into that wood stack
and that fire must’ve blazed 50 feet high
and now i’m planning on leaving a legacy to look back on someday when i die
and right now i’m telling you to stand up too
deep down inside you know it’s the right thing to do
think about your family, think about you
don’t k!ll yourself please don’t do it
whatever you’re facing god will see you through it
i had a fan k!ll himself and his mom asked if i could come see her
she was depressed and asked if i could meet her
two weeks later depression beat her
she ran into a telephone pole without a seat belt in a two seater
and i wish right now i could crawl through these speakers
and somehow convince you not to go the same route she did
i wish i could change the fact that you feel defeated
i wish i could lock my arms around you and tell the devil to beat it
but i can’t reach everyone, even though i do my best and try
some people believe the lie that it’s just best to die
and they think it’s the simple way out, but they’re not here to see the way things play out
they don’t see the hurt the cause, the pain they leave
i take this seriously this isn’t a game to me
even thinking about ending your life is living dangerously
so please just listen to my voice, right now you have a choice
you can choose life, or you can get drowned by the noise
please don’t do it, please just ask for help
if not for your family, do it for yourself

- clayton jennings lyrics

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