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clayton jokythur - melocactus amethystinus lyrics

[verse 1]
f-ck it, where am i? where am i?
no, i’m definitely not ready to die
lost in the desert, sand everywhere
what the f-ck, i really could swear
i was just on a trip, gee
that escalated quickly
some powder, light colored, white?
and just a few liquid drops
i was envisioning great sights
and no trouble with the cops
then we ran out of boose
so i drank that green stuff, cactus juice
they said that’s what it was
and well, i believed it, because
i needed just one more drink
ha, i saw you wink!
what’s that? that standing over there
smaller than a tortoise, bigger than a hare
do you see me?
wait, that seems like a little tree
whoa! can it really be?
it’s that cactus, whose juice i’ll now pee
“melocactus amethystinus”
holy cr-p! who said that, cause
i could swear i was the only one here
wait, maybe inside the plant there’s beer
let’s go check that
hope for the best, matt

[hook]
melocactus amethysti
melocactus amethysti
melocactus amethystinus
hehehehe

[verse 2]
hmmm, that really is my plant
that’s awesome, fant
astical
your -ss? tickles
that’s fine young lady i’ll do it
and after that f-ck you; it
but back to the cacti
on heavy drugs? am i?
time to look for beer, tear the plant apart
nah, f-ck it’s feelings, it’s not like plants feel or have hearts
ouch! gotta watch out for the spikes
also, gotta watch out for the dyk-s
because you know, girls f-cking, always fun
and they come fast, so i need to watch out ‘fore they’re done
aha, now you’re open, green guy
so hand me the green juice ‘fore i die
of thirst. hmm that’s good
yeah, now i’ll be in a good mood
wait a minute, i see a forest of these
yeah, a beautiful pond with lots of trees
i mean, cacti, or maybe cactuses
let me get there to relax enjoy the breeze
jack off a little and bless the place with my jizz
almost there, and i’m seeing some weird colors and sh-t
d-mn, i could go back to the party, things there were neat
“everybody freeze, hands where i can see ’em please
line up against the wall, look at the camera and say cheese
mr. jokythur, i understand the responsibility is yours
for organizing this party full of drugs and wh0r-s
please do follow me to the police car
you’re under arrest, don’t run, you won’t get far”
ok, sir cactus with policeman hat, that’s very funny
what is going on in here?

[hook]
melocactus amethysti
melocactus amethysti
melocactus amethystinus
hehehehe

[verse 3]
“i don’t understand what you’re saying
beware that i am not playing”
d-mn, so you’re really police
ok listen, do you know what this is?
do you know who i am?
don’t you recognize that i’m the man?
best rapper in the whole tortoisea
yeah, my party does include a lot of noise
a lot of boose, drugs and bad b-tches
i’m one of the richest
mo’f-ckers in the world
so just leave me and my girls
you don’t want no trouble with us
just calm down, drink what’s inside the cactus
“hmm, this is actually very good
i guess i’ll leave you just give some food
to take
and i’ll make
sure no one disturbs this here”
yeah, grab some donuts and some beer
sorry for anything
just call me if something
comes up
yeah take that cup
bye
phew, that was close
lots of sandstorms rose
out of nowhere
then i got back there
party on people!

[outro: matt (spoken)]
d-mn it cla-clay you were really crazy, talking to that cactus and sh-t and l!cking its interior and putting beer inside it. that’s what i call a party!

- clayton jokythur lyrics

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