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cleavon md - evidence based medicine lyrics

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remember as an intern, attendings would say
stories how they’ve been burned. medicine is strange!
lessons learned in turn written on their face
disease don’t read text!…and that’s evidence based
but is it evidenced based

verse 1
65 diabetic with chest pain
obese, inverted ts. maybe left main?
no alarms, looks calm as i walk towards
but i can’t discharge with that heart score

next patient looks well.. word of mouth
on birth control can’t perc her out
creatinine normal when it got back
but if 2, can she still get contrast?

eyes open wide, that’s how the night is
what’s the chance he’ll die from pancreat-tis?
elevated white count, ast, and ldh
55, high finger stick, and his belly aches

4 traumas came in back to back
all ages and all had lacs
she’s young so he’ll probably be fine
but since she’s drunk i can’t clear her c-spine

she’s 65 on plavix
and he’s been vomiting since it happened
this baby fell off the top mattress
scalp hematoma and since then has been napping

hook x 2
evidence says consider imaging
what deadly threat could this be mimicking?
negligence away, i’m objective when i say
“my efforts today were evidence-based”

verse 2
next day on call, sent to peds
can’t walk, so i thought septic knee
kocher, esr and crp
told her, “i’ll do the tap, brb!”

next day i had an upper gi bleed
no syncope, good hemoglobin and bp
i’m thinking dc, but before i fast foward
had to verify the score with blatchford

and my next patient, i ain’t really wanna delve in
normal ultrasound, do i have to do the pelvic?
i have a differential, will it really help it
when self-swab is simple and just as foretelling?

doc, i got a patient coming back!
sudden headache thinking subarach
i need the time of onset to be exact
otherwise lp, spinal tap

next time you find yourself in predicament
and fear of cognitive errors make you think again
make sure you think about the risk benefit
and of course base that on the evidence

hook x 2
evidence says consider imaging
what deadly threat could this be mimicking?
negligence away, i’m objective when i say
“my efforts today were evidence-based”

- cleavon md lyrics

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