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coaastgxd - dear god... lyrics

cauterized minds
televised lies
h+ll is online
why try when the well has gone dry
blunt when i ride
pump at the side
not satisfied til my life is a landslide
i been in the church pews one too many times
i was screaming at the sky
“you was supposed to be my guide”
now it’s 20 years later still awaiting your reply
i’m surprised that i’m still alive

do you remember the days i would run around dazed
no smoke haze
lost in the fog of my brain
trying to understand why there was so much pain
(there was so much pain)
couldn’t make it make sense so i felt self+shame
what about the time i was 5 dialing 911 cause my mom might die
watch her roll out the house in a gown
paramedics had her strapped down
sat down with my sister crying on the wet ground
my whole life i been a let down
hoping i would get lost
never get found
never felt well+rounded
never felt feet grounded
keep to myself
dumbfounded
thought i could count on god but he kept bouncing
turned all small mounds into big mountains
now my demons got me surrounded
and i can’t stop drowning

where did you go
when my sister was running the blade on her wrist
where did you go
when my momma had all of this pain that i couldn’t fix
where did you go
when my homie felt so low he had to cease to exist
where did you go
cause it seems you were never really there at all

i’m down on my knees and i’m begging you please
gimme something to believe
i’m in a bungalow burning up trees and i’m searching for echoes that never repeat
my life is in stasis
if god creates all the races
then he must’ve made the racists
the pain, the heinous, and the faceless
the world is ablaze
and my god on hiatus
all hail almighty, the greatest (yah)
gave up my soul
couldn’t save this (yah)
the world is ablaze
and my god on hiatus
all hail almighty, the greatest (yah)
gave up my soul
couldn’t save this (yah)

i’m surprised that i’m still alive

- coaastgxd lyrics

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