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coal cash - pick up the pieces lyrics

[verse 1]
i don’t even know why i’m writin this letter
like putting it in plain sight would make you decipher it better
ever since i can remember
i dismembered my mind trying to find the lies that lie in the center
and it feels like forever, it really does
since i saw clearly who the real me was
that’s my theory, now i’m starting to feel these drugs
cuz i betrayed someone that i sincerely loved
now i’m trying to numb the pain before it takes me in a downward spiral
cuz when she said she hated me it sorta sounded final
it was all ego and self praise till i found a bible
and turning the pages said “son, denounce them idols”
there’s devils in my mental, and pagans in my play pen
and break bread with um, say 10 versions of satan
a bas-m-nt for them b-ss heads who don’t know to say when
and a closet full of skeletons who refuse to stay dead
ya’ll obscene its some sort of fiendish
distorting ?? who crash and burn fast into the earth like a fallen phoenix
placed my faith in a faltered thesis
now i’m at the alter calling jesus, watching my world fall to pieces
i would think ya’ll are smart
big headed, shoulda known i needed a shrink from the start
i just cling to the part where i bring all this heart
on a quest for love but black thoughts make things fall apart

[hook]
i have been beat down
i’m just trynna make it back to my feet now

lost in the mean while
i’m just trynna bounce back on the rebound

help is what i need now
but it slips from my grip when i reach out

they say that talk is cheap now
why does it cost so much when i speak out

[verse 2]
and someone once said “lets see what you’re made of”
and since then i’ve been think of myself…sh-t, ain’t much
i feel like a fake f-ck under a pound of clown makeup
filled with a great flood of hate so it’s impossible to make love
i take drugs just to numb my senses
i’ve been filled with a disgusting vengeance and its become relentless
trying to find a sense of justice, just dissemblance
feel like i’m cuffed on benches, waiting on the judge’s sentence
adjust my lenses i see deceptive purposes
i’m further from acceptance, you should expect some turbulence
it gets disturbing quick, i’m a wreck with nervousness
to the point i gotta avoid all reflective surfaces
i’ve been (?spinning/spending/spitting?) since i was a minute old
but every time the truth got twisted it took a horrific toll
my vivid soul lost its inner globe
lookin like a little withered rose by a frozen river in the bitter cold
plant a seed in the sea watch that sh-t grow
infected to the root cuz of the truths that i withhold
so it goes, that once luminous spectrum of his soul has slowly been reduced to a dim glow
i tip-toe through the old days i miss those
i didn’t know that the human heart could be this cold
fingers on the edge of the cliff, watching them slip slow
kick the bottom brick out this f-cker, watch the structure implode

[hook]
i have been beat down
i’m just trynna make it back to my feet now

lost in the mean while
i’m just trynna bounce back on the rebound

help is what i need now
but it slips from my grip when i reach out

they say that talk is cheap now
why does it cost so much when i speak out

[verse 3]
remembered the place but caught a case of amnesia
half -ss dreamer lookin at the path thinkin the gr-ss greener
running cheetah fast to the m-ss preacher trynna claim my spirit like taking gl-ss cleaner to d-mn zeemer
zoom in partially see the demons who choose to spar with me
and a spot i was shot through my foolish heart with cupids archery
losing horribly to the stupid that moves lethargically
through my arteries consuming the only human part of me
watching them feelings k!ll him slow
he, wants to stay but he really knows he still should go
such an actor its only natural i steal the show
wrote my life story and casting myself in the fill in role
i wasn’t built to deal with this type of bullsh-t
had a bright idea but you know that that light gets dull quick
been running from my problems
only time i bite the bullet is if i should pull it out, put it in my mouth, and ignite the full clip
this gamble for my life was expected sooner
been rolling stone cold snake eyes since the first time i met medusa
pathetic loser, that went and wrecked his future
these reckless maneuvers, are gonna take some getting used to
but i’m at the point when never becomes forever
trying my best not to run or circ-m to this numbing weather
things fall apart when content under pressure
but at least you can pick up them pieces and build something better

- coal cash lyrics

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