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cohen_noise - safety in pills lyrics

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sometimes we’d rather suffer
than pass our pain to another
we’d rather keep it covered
than share the hurt with our lover

trust me, i’m sick of relying on others
subverting progress with my inaction
i don’t want another distraction
but i waited complacent i always knew this would happen

i’ve felt guilty for my depression
deeply selfish for my issues and taking time to address them
two decades of fixation on flaws
just to turn to medication to try to rectify what i saw

fearing i’ll appear unappreciative
if i try to place the weight off my chest
feigning quiet hope that cloaking the worst of me will somehow emphasize the best

everyone i know is getting married
sharing memories and having children
societal expectations weigh in
when you just wanna stay a kid

sometimes we’d rather suffer
than pass our pain to another
we’d rather keep it covered
than share the hurt with our lover
i’ve felt guilty
for the way my mind resents me
my friends and family believe
it’s something they could relieve

kindling my mother’s worry
that every day, there’s a possibility
i could give into the hurt
and make another attempt on the life she birthed

if there’s safety in pills
will i ever get my fill?
will i ever feel safe from myself?
i’ve tried everything and nothing f+cking helps

sometimes we’d rather suffer
than pass our pain to another
we’d rather keep it covered
but i’m sick of minimizing myself for others

why was i conditioned to believe
that i’m not sick, i’m just f+cking weak
that i’m pathetic for contemplating therapy
you’ll never believe you’re as f+cked up as me

if there’s safety in pills
will i ever get my f+cking fill?
will i ever feel safe from myself?
i’ve tried everything, nothing f+cking helps
safety

i can’t promise i’ll get better
but i promise i’d end it all
if it didn’t mean the ones i love would take the fall

- cohen_noise lyrics

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