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collectivepov - who i was, am, and will be lyrics

(verse 1)
looking at my past is like a rain cloud darkening
embarking down a sunny path, but yet it’s so disheartening
it’s a part of me, i’m indebted with apologies
and honestly, cause y’all were weak, i’m hesitant to call it even
clinging to the past doesn’t do me any good
containing in the wrath – because of that, i was misunderstood
biting on my tongue and never saying what i should
left me p-ssed, and in a daze, so i was venting when i could
i was negative, and sought help religiously
and every “cure” was embedded artifically
i was angry, and never was so timidly
i felt deconstructed at my core like polyphony
but sitting in my own form of this imagery
is a key that lyrically abolished my self-sympathy
it amazes me – the sights we will live to see
what i know for sure, who i was, isn’t me

(verse 2)
a metamorphosis had taken place since adolesence
change is ordinance, especially if you had depression
it felt so tortuous, but in the mist there’s luminescence
and at the core of it, i wanted rid of my manic essence
i seached inwardly, and found exactly what i needed
the recipe to make my growth unimpeded
i’m feeling happy, and it’s so hard to believe it
despite the fact it’s deep seeded, i feel at peace with it
i was a raging storm, but settled to a gentle breeze
thanks to meditation, i can drift from zealotry
and now i’m looking at my world so compellingly
this is a stepping stone to realizing destiny
my ident-ty’s no longer a calamity
i treat it like a challenge, the reward is self-mastery
patient and virtuous is something that i have to be
and who i am now – is only half of me

(verse 3)
judging by the past, i cannot predict the future
there’s incongruent consequences that i cannot out maneuver
growing as a kid, i was always called a loser
but i never felt the need to be thought as cooler
i have a vague picture, painted in this mind of mine
when i’m sinning, i’m partaking in a side of life
that is poisonous, more so than cyanide
it just sucks that obstacles are a mile wide
cool, calm, collective. that’s what i want to be
it’s all i ever thought of, and it’s all i ever need to be
i want a simple life, not living like a deity
i’m only wanting love, from the ones who believe in me
when i p-ss on, i’m bound to be forgotten
it’s something that will happen, and i see it as a problem
it seems that leaving legacies can be my only option
but the truth is, i’d rather let this life blossom

- collectivepov lyrics

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