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college humor - gift shop lyrics

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hey macklemore, can we go gift shopping?

what (x 16)
hey look, what is that by the exit (x 4)

i’m gonna buy some cr-p
i’ve got money burning in my pocket
i – i’m a tourist at a museum
look at all these gemstones

nah, walk in the museum like ‘what up, i need a pet rock’
forget exhibits, i need something from the gift shop
snack in a pouch looks so d-mn tasty
clerk is like, ‘dude, that’s astronaut ice-cream’

trying on xl tees, playing with a light machine
look for key chains, hope they have my name, it’s eugene
wish i could buy all of it, slow globes, rain sticks
probably check the weather cause it sounds so precipitous…

but sh-t, it costs more than my rent! (uh)
messin’ it, pressin’ it, these pins capture my expressions n’
throwing all those bouncy b-lls bouncing below the bargain bin
this bird keeps on hydrating, it is drinking and bobbing; i am
spending all my money on some desk toys that use physics b-tch

i’mma buy a newton’s cradle, i’mma buy a newton’s cradle
no for real – ask the lady – do you carry pendulums?
sci-fi noise tube, dinosaur stickers
tornado-in-a-bottle that i found spinning

they had a tiny broadsword, i bought a tiny broadsword
bought a fossil trinket, and then a finger skateboard
h-llo, h-llo, candy-filled cell phone
magnets top to bottom on my fridge door, yolo

walk up to the bin, scoop up a bag of gemstones
the geode heads would be like, ‘aw, he got the fools’ gold’

i’m gonna get some snacks
and a ‘big kid’s guide to pirates’
i – i’m a tourist, at a museum
i should buy a telescope

what you know about rocking hats like dave crockett’s
what you know about scale-replica muskets
i’m digging, i’m digging, i’m searching for the right puzzle
jigsaw art of a nasa sp-ce shuttle

buy your step-dad a ur-n-s mouse-pad and a
sweat-shirt, plus a pot of seeds and some dirt
i’m at the check-out, you can find me by the (koosh b-lls)
i got, i got yelled at by the guy for throwing (koosh b-lls)

for grammy, for aunty, for momma, for daddy
i’ll take some mugs for all my family, birthday gifts, i own that motherf-cker
a mammoth model with the bones in that motherf-cker
i got a beetle trapped in stone like a motherf-cker

they be like, ‘oh, that jewelery – that’s h-lla tight’
i’m like, ‘yo – it was made by local artisans’
limited edition craft by indian tradition
fifty dollars for a pendant it supports the reserva-(tions)

i bought that and this cool floaty pen (sh-t)
i bought that and this young scientist (kit)
that kit’s h-lla dope
but mixing acids without goggles or some gloves or supervision is a h-lla don’t

peep game, come take a look through my kaleidoscope
tring to find gifts that are bland? man you h-lla won’t
man you h-lla won’t

gift shops
hoberman spheres
yeah

i wear a shirt with wolves
and in the dark it glows
all of this and more that’s dope
in that gift shop by the door

- college humor lyrics

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