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collegehumor - money can buy anything i want (interlude) lyrics

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[alexa]
hey, newsie? uh, hi+ho

[paperboy]
extra, hi+ho, read all about it!
you see that skyscr+per?
it’s even taller now
and there’s a shadow all over the baseball field!

[alexa]
yeah, but listen, i was thinking
it’s really hard to build a structure that fast, like+

[paperboy]
sure is!

[alexa]
and i mean, in a week
it’s gotten a few stories taller
it got me thinking
it must not be like
made of official materials in any way?

[paperboy]
absolutely not!
she doesn’t like building regulations
so she actively builds it
in a way that is not earthquake+safe
[alexa]
okay, i think i have a plan to take it down

[paperboy]
oh that’s great
because we’re all way too scared to stand up to tina

[alexa]
awww…

[tina] (on the skyscr+per)
pinocchio, build it higher!

[pinocchio]
yeah, yes ma’am, i’ll build it higher!

[tina]
because you know why?

[pinocchio]
why?

[tina]
money can buy anything i want!

[pinocchio]
oh, okay, well
you sure you didn’t want to spring for more
’cause there are all like
home depot two+by+fours
and i’m pretty sure they’re not wood
that’s graded for construction
[tina]
i don’t care, build it higher!!

[pinocchio]
okaaay!

[alexa] (back on the street)
you’re really good at getting the word out!

[paperboy]
heheh, it’s kinda what i do!

[alexa]
yeah, uhh, we just need
everyone in town
to pitch in!
i think we could just
take this thing apart in like an assembly line

[paperboy]
you want me
to write the headline?

[alexa]
well, i guess i’m thinking more like
can you spread the word quickly?
[paperboy]
okay, can you say what the words are?

[alexa]
yeah, sure

[paperboy]
yeah, okay

[alexa]
it might be
something like this, uhhh…



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