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colliding with mars - autistic lyrics

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i need someone to talk to right now
i’m manic in my movements
i’m so self+destructive
why would god make me this way
if i were her i’d be disgusted

help me somehow

kick me around

i hate that i’m so helpless
when i hurt someone
i’m reckless
my behaviors are indefinite
i hate myself

i’m a monster
i want to soft+reset my life
don’t want to disappoint my father
i think about it every night

why am i filled with so much hatred
feel so stupid when i opеn my mouth
i’m always jaded
everything is always bringing me down
i’m suffocating
in my thoughts can nеver figure it out
i’m in a maze
in my own head and now i’m spiraling down
poison inside of my mind
i can’t
shake the feeling that i will die
i need to calm down
or i will lash out
all of these dark thoughts
and i can’t speak now

i thought that i was finished feeling sorry for myself
i’m self+aware that everything i’m saying isn’t gonna help
i fall apart near every day and in my happiness i pray that my condition won’t afflict me further look at where that’s getting me

tired of waking up
tired of waking up

i need someone to talk to right now
i’m manic in my movements
i’m so self+destructive
why would god make me this way
if i were her i’d be disgusted
help me somehow

kick me around

i hate that i’m so helpless
when i hurt someone
i’m reckless
my behaviors are indefinite
i hate myself

i’m a monster
i want to soft+reset my life
don’t want to disappoint my father
i think about it every night

why am i filled with so much hatred
feel so stupid when i open my mouth
i’m always jaded
everything is always bringing me down
i’m suffocating
in my thoughts can never figure it out
i’m in a maze
in my own head and now i’m spiraling down

poison inside of my mind
i can’t
shake the feeling that i will die
i need to calm down
or i will lash out
all of these dark thoughts
and i can’t speak now
i thought that i was finished feeling sorry for myself
i’m self+aware that everything i’m saying isn’t gonna help
i fall apart near every day and in my happiness i pray that my condition won’t afflict me further look at where that’s getting me

tired of waking up
tired of waking up

- colliding with mars lyrics

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