colour in the clouds - inosculation lyrics
[intro]
one day, i looked out from the window
saw those trees in the yard
they had fallen apart
their skin was broken and scarred
and their rings were young and few
and they looked just like you
[verse]
and i thought that i’d be strong enough
to say exactly what i wanted
it’s been long enough
but i can’t keep what i want f+cking straight
so i built these walls of metaphors and cliches
silently hoping they’d fall and i’d break
there’s so much left to learn
and our lesson proved my worth
and i’m so hesitant in separation
and in what we learned
[pre+chorus]
fighting against their torturous roots
hoping to find a way to speak thе truth
and i don’t know why that would help
but i just wish i could write something about you
that didn’t makе me hate myself
[chorus]
so far from you
i know i don’t want to pretend
that i have found out
how to get past this
[verse]
and were you blinded by desperation?
i know i was nothing
but did i cause your collapse
or was i just a part of it?
[pre+chorus]
and i hope the walls break
and you find these poems scratched in the paint
they’re not direct, so they feel safe
they’re insecure, but they fit
and i’d rather have them
than try to live without happiness
[chorus]
so far from you
i know i don’t want to pretend
that i have found out
how to get past this
[post+chorus]
and i know closing the door
means leaving these questions unanswered
it means not caring enough
it means giving up on what i call love
[speech]
and i’m so sick of the sound of my own voice, and the pressure that i put on every single choice. to make sure that i’m heard. to make sure that these words feel right. i just want to leave behind something meaningful. something beautiful. it’s never felt right, but sometimes i wish you had had that child
[outro]
maybe then, i wouldn’t feel so f+cking empty inside
collapse my lungs
collapse my lungs
force the air out of my chest
until i breathe out slow
and until i forget
you will know i haven’t got anything yet
but these words and these moments
i’m wishing for the best
that the scar of our inosculation
won’t define the days that i have left
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