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colton belley - julie's office lyrics

[intro]
+phone ringing+
+footsteps+
+door slamming+

[verse 1]
my hands tremble as i sit and ramble
with a devilish grin smeared across my face
i’m enchanted by this ill trance that’s
got me lost in this cramped office sp+ce
and i rock away dazed in this creaky chair
intently eying this lady eyeing greasy hair
half here, half there, half aware she’s scared
but i don’t even care
my friend’s sitting scripting my issues with her pen as i vent
insisting i’ll bring it all to an end
and then it hits me:
therе’s no end to this misery if i entеr it willingly

[bridge]
“silly silly man
it’s up to you to centre yourself and find inner peace”

[verse 2]
then i’m back in a funk grasping a cup filled with chilled beer
crafted by monks, laughing it up stricken with ill cheer
gagging i chug and bask in the stuff ’til i feel weird (yeah)
acting rough i stab at my mug in my sink’s mirror
i’ve got tweezers in hand pulling at strands i need to pluck
’cause i can’t stand seeing them on my tongue
i’m ripping the flesh, k!lling the stress, gone freaking numb
not even from the cuts bleeding on my gums
[pre+chorus]
then it hits me…
i’ve been staring at myself b+tt naked for half an hour in misery

[chorus]
i only pray when i want something
i know the way yet get lost some times
i hope i’ll make you unlock the gate
i hope i’ll make you proud
i said
i only pray when i want something
i know the way yet get lost some times
i hope i’ll make you unlock the gate

[post+chorus]
+inhale+
+exhale+

[verse 3]
i’ve had enough of these gashes and cuts of passion and l+st
my skin’s all scratched up from snagging even just a fraction of a buzz
the man in my mind’s madly laughing it up
screaming and bashing his skull with straight jacket snug (f+ck)
i’m tired as all chilling in sweat drenched socks
sticking a lighter to my palm admiring the fire in awe
wide eyed with a clenched jaw and a smile strung
i can’t drop
stuck staring at scripts scrawled for god
sprawled on my knuckle dented walls
then it hits me…
i should put my brain to use and paint the walls red with it
[bridge]
+gunshot+
+laughter+

[verse 4]
i’ve got knees to my head, water beating on my neck
i wheeze every breath as blood seeps through my skin
i’ll reap what i sow, so when i sow no peace
i’ll reap a freaking h+ll hole
i’ve got nails digging deep seeking the veins nestled beneath
h+ll no, this ain’t me
this skin don’t fit right, it’s tight
and this blood tastes a bit too nice

[interlude]
i wish i could just dissolve into bliss
stuck living in twisted awe ridden with cognitive dissonance
if there’s a point to all this sh+t then i’m missing it

[pre+chorus]
i’ll be the first to admit it:
i f+cking hate myself but i love this sh+t

- colton belley lyrics

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