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conner160 - the pen lyrics

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for me rhythm is a hard thing to find
when it comes to writing and rhyming i’ve always been behind
i want to grind my t–th when i can’t spit out a line

i tell myself it’s fine but it’s not
i get so upset my stomach grows a knot
my face turns red and my body gets hot

i start to tell myself i suck
i push myself so hard i feel like my lungs are about to erupt
they start to turn on me and won’t hold air

man sometimes i feel like this sh-t ain’t fair
ninety percent of my notepad is bare
when i look at it i want to just pull my hair and swear

sometimes i ask myself why i even care
it’s not like i’m trying to get popular
the rhymes i do write i don’t even share

but sometimes the biggest bully is yourself
i say things like “your music makes me want to ralf”
“why don’t you just give up put it on the shelf”

“and leave it there like it belongs”
there’s got to be something wrong
when your own mind is telling you to stop

i just want to get to the top of my own ladder
but the higher i climb the more it grows
then i look down and my body feels frozen

i close my eyes then begin to doze an’
i lose my grip, and i start to fall
my stomach shrinks and i want to ball

i open my eyes and i’m back at the bottom
i grab the papers and begin to toss ’em
i rip ’em and crumple them and it feels awesome

i’m getting my anger out and i no longer need to shout
it feels so good to throw it all away

then i sit down and ask why
do i spend so much time on these unfinished rhymes
i tell myself i’m done, that was it, the last time

i go to sleep thinking my notepad will become obsolete
but i still wake up in the morning and see my pen
and that’s all it takes for me to start again..

- conner160 lyrics

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