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conscience (san antonio) - grow a pair lyrics

[intro]
oh, my god, i gotta take a p-ss
(-panting-)
ahhhhhhhhh….sh-t
(-sigh of relief-)
aye, aye, man, aye
hey, can you do me a favor real quick?
just real quick
just do me a favor, and uhhh….

[verse 1]
run your eyes along the guys in the stalls
try to find a pair of b-lls as big as mine in their drawers
yeah, it may appear queer to stare at a man’s spheres
a friendly peer at your peers is all that i ask here
don’t -n-lyze the wrinkles or gaze at the man’s stink hole
just get the basic size and let the man tinkle
if you’re staring at his d-ck, then that’s when you’re a f-ggot
not a fast little glance for who has the most baggage
jesus f-cking christ, i sound like a f-cking f-ggot
i was trying to be nice and help you understand it
now i sound like a flamer, but here’s a disclaimer:
i’m straighter than the facts i wrote on this paper
savor the food for thought i speak, or you could save it for later
let’s start this sh-t out my peak, when i was ’round the age of 8 or so
i used to beat on my salami
slap my sister’s dollies, saying, “where’s my f-cking money!?”
call every girl a b-tch ’cause that’s what daddy called my mommy
go up to all my homies like, “yo doggy doggy!”
just kidding, i don’t have any friends
i purposely would cuss to make a certain lady want me
but wouldn’t want my teacher or my mommy to hear me, so i would say ’em softly

[interlude]
aye, aye, bro, she just walked in
(what? what? who?)
yeah, yeah, that girl i was just talking to you about!
(who? what the f-ck?)
you know, the- the one with the big -ss!
(oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!)
i’mma try to impress her real quick. watch this
(alright?)
d-mn, mami! you looking s-xy!
-cute girl gasps- + (-friend gasps-)
teacher! (um, um, um, um, um, ummmmmmmmm…)
yeah! yeah, him! he said it! he said a bad word to me!

[verse 2]
what the f-ck?!
why the f-ck you snitching, b-tch?!
i was trying to impress you, and this the sh-t i get?!
you just lost all your chances with this half-an-inch d-ck
yeah, i know it’s f-cking big, you ain’t gotta tell me sh-t
i already know it
everybody wants to blow me, you can ask my buddy, coleman…
wait, that was actually kinda g-y…
but let’s let it go like frozen
but, for the record, never seen it, and i’ve never owned it
i never sang along to, “do you want to build a snowman?”
never heard that song, but please don’t ask me how i know it
b-tch, i’m not lying! i’m a motherf-cking grown man!
i will admit, i’ll sit at home alone and watch a romance movie
’cause, aside from feeling b–bies, i just wanna hold hands
f-ck your nae-nae and your whip and sh-t, i wanna slow dance
can we watch netflix without you trying to- no! agh!
put you bra back on! i’m trying to watch the show, man!
gimme back my f-cking c-ck! no condom, no chance!

[outro: roger “conscience” ramos]
aghh, gosh!
you women are all the same!
i’mma take my gargantuan p-n-s and f-cking leave!
f-cking b-tch!
gah!
come on, boys, let’s go watch some football!
we’ll go watch them make a, uh, a hole-in-one!

- conscience san antonio lyrics

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