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controversy - just to be different lyrics

[verse 1: controversy]
i be seeking love in the wrong places
for ages, tryna’ break from the mental cages
depressed and the days when i never had a placement
total desolation enlaced in the hazes
despised by the hated, beat more than cases
scorned from the faces, pitied from the gracious
tears from my eyes used to form shallow puddles
misunderstood so i lived in reb-ttal
guess i deserved it, the pain from the purges
immersed in the hurt, i was cursed, never perfect
questioned my purpose on earth, and my surface
trying to explain all my ways wasn’t worth it
seen as the man abnormally weird
chastised by the peers, and was judged from the stares
i was tryna’ get up, but they ain’t give a hand
so i went to river, but it ain’t give a d-mn

[verse 2: controversy]
i seen my brother breath to his last breath
eighteen tryna’ suck in everything that wasn’t left
when the rain comes down it pours
but that’s the only time i feel at ease so i pray to god for more
so i get high, hoping that the pain subside
but most days, i sit by myself and cry
i used to search for the love that my heart deprived
but the bliss used to leave soon as it arrived
outcast of the m-sses, so i been a standout
took a new road, but it led to the same route
brawl with my conscious, life wasn’t honest
agony was common, and pain was the problem
same rain, same pain just a different day
same hurt, same tears just a different way
everything was good, but it changed with a venue
malady pursued, and the saga continues

[verse 3: controversy]
the grand pessimist, president of depression
insecurities and obscurity was evident
never had any type of game all along
but the game for the insincere, tell me if i’m wrong
they say they love me, but it’s only cause of fame
all they know is controversy, they don’t even know my name
all they do is show me love, they don’t know about the pain
all they see is sun and clouds, they don’t know about the rain
they don’t know about the ways, dark nights and cold days
cause’ what’s a perfect picture when you lacking the frame
life cold like the steel held in your palm
you ever had your own homie die in your arms
dudes can’t say nothing bout’ feeling pain
cause i done felt it ever since i got my first name
who can you trust in a world full of sin
and at the end, tell me who’s your real friend

- controversy lyrics

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