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corduroy mclellan - rules of engagement lyrics

[verse 1]:
i don’t understand people drinking coffee on a hike
or presenters making gestures with their hand that holds the mic
why does anyone ever smoke a cigarette
and i don’t think anybody needs their own exotic pet
i don’t get why most meetings even have to occur
when it could’ve been an email less than 60 words
why do most people never say what’s on their mind
why suggest we get together if you don’t really havе the time
what’s the point of a drеss code in most places of work?
i can’t do my job well cause there’s no collar on my shirt?
who needs decorative pillows on their bed
just to take them off so you can lay down your head
why does greeting everyone require you to touch
and a simple “h+llo” is never deemed enough
why do i need to tip someone who sets their own rates
and it’s frowned upon to use any coupons for a date

[chorus]:
am i the one that’s crazy, am i losing my mind?
the world looks so different when you see it through my eyes
i don’t understand and i never understood
what would you change if you knew that you could?

[verse 2]:
why do you doubt that i’m paying attention
if eye contact is lacking i can still have comprehension
reality tv makes no sense to me
i can’t deal with the fake or the insincerity
i don’t get why big forks exist
the tines just feel wrong i’d make them vanish with a wish
i don’t understand why families feel the need to stick together
even though we share some blood our bond isn’t for the better
why do cars keep getting bigger and the trucks all get a lift
there are better ways to show your body wasn’t a gift
i don’t understand the lack of grammar in writing
use commas and punctuation otherwise we’ll get to fighting
why are weddings so expensive why do churches need donations
just to fund a swimming pool and the pastor’s vacations
why do i fill out my own taxes for show
when the government knows exactly how much i owe
[chorus]:
am i the one that’s crazy, am i losing my mind?
the world looks so different when you see it through my eyes
i don’t understand and i never understood
what would you change if you knew that you could?

[outro]:
+excerpt from community+

[vice dean]:
mr. barnes… walk with me. mr. barnes, air conditioning repair is an elite worldwide family dating back to the very beginnings of civilizations. our predecessors were slaves, fanning the pharaohs with palm fronds. over time, we became expert at making our superiors comfortable. we made it our business. and along the way, we learned to make ourselves comfortable. no more palm fronds, troy. now we are the pharaohs

+breathes+

[computer voice]:
breath print approved

[vice dean]:
feel that?

[troy]:
actually, i don’t feel++

[vice dean]:
precisely. have you heard the expression room temperature?
[troy]:
of course

[vice dean]:
this is the room! this is the room temperature room

- corduroy mclellan lyrics

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