corrupted lawfirm - a message to mr. way lyrics
[intro: eh]
yo, subway
we got a message for you
john otto
take it the matthews bridge
[verse 1: eh]
if only subway
was a buffet
i could go down
when i’ve had a really bad day (this sucks)
after that scandal (jared fogle)
they really need an update
they can call me in and i’ll fix it with duct tape (flex tape)
why the five dollar footlong (huh?)
nine dollars?
their founder five foot nine
i’m a little (short)
taller
this the end of subway as we know it (yup)
unless we turn it upside down (straight up)
and make some more profit
[bridge: eh]
lower price (lower price)
more subs (more subs)
less complaints (less complaints)
more dubs (more dubs)
bigger parking lot (bigger parking lot)
more customers (more customers)
i’m the big man
we are hustlers
[verse 2: jw]
yeah, i love my wife
that brown curly hair (hair)
i give her all my love
yeah, i drive her everywhere (yeah)
there’s one place i won’t go
i call that place my home (yeah)
subway sandwich
she da best hoe (hoe)
five dollar footlong
d+ck her down hard (hard)
lettuce on some sourdough
no mustard
put her on my queen bed
toast her like some flatbread
pack her full of mayo
eat ‘er up like heyo (heyo, heyo, heyo, heyo)
huh, huh (heyo, heyo, heyo, heyo)
my wife is super p+ssed (yeah)
smoke be comin’ out her ears
she soundin’ like a train (woo)
she flyin’ like a spear
that reminds me of the pickle
that i put in my sandwich
don’t yell at me, kelly
you stupid b+tch (straight up)
[skit (stinky podcast 5): jw and eh]
eh: so, we actually started this song in july of 2021, but uh, ever since then, subway has, i feel like, improved their quality at least a little bit? um, i don’t know about everyone else, but… that’s at least what i have to say about the matter
jw: uh, i think they hacked my computer. i+ no, it’s actually jared fogle that hacked my computer and then sent this advice to subway on our behalf. so, you know…
eh: good for him
jw: thanks. yeah, good for him
eh: i mean, not+ not good for him, but, you know… for, for the other thing…
jw: i mean he is, he is a piece of sh+t, but… all things considered, you know… he did, uh, you know… send this song to him. before release, actually, that’s illegal, cause he hacked my sh+t and that’s a breach of privacy, which i don’t appreciate one bit. what do you think about people breaching privacy?
eh: um, i actually don’t like when they breach privacy. so that’s why we’re actually sponsored by nord vpn. had+ head over to nordvpn.com/corruptedlawfirm+
[eh interrupts himself]
eh: real quick disclaimer, we’re not actually sponsored by nord vpn, please do not take that seriously
[stinky podcast 5 continues]
jw: [if you don’t feel like] using that coupon, my nord vpn login is+
[“snooping as usual, i see” begins playing, interrupting jw]
jw: uh…
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