craig ferguson - the backson song lyrics
owl:
it’s a giant creature with a tail
here, i’ll draw piglet in for scale
piglet:
oh dear!
owl:
its hide is like a sh-ggy rug
its face, a surly, ugly mug
with two sharp h-rns atop its head
between – a mop of hair – that’s red!
everyone else:
(gasps)
owl:
and in its nose, a ring of gold
it smells of monkeys’ feet and mold!
its toes are black! its fur is blue!
i swear that all i tell you is not made up!
the backson!
everyone else:
the backson?
owl:
the backson!
everyone else:
the backson!
oh no!
pooh:
but owl, what does a backson do?
everyone else:
yes owl, what does a backson do?
owl:
hmmm…what does a backson do?
i’m thinking, i’m thinking, i’m thinking, i’m thinking
and now i will tell you!
they sneak into your library
and scribble in all your books!
everyone else:
the backson! the backson!
we don’t like the backson!
owl:
when decorating your christmas tree
they tangle up all the hooks!
everyone else:
the backson! the backson!
we’re afraid of the backson!
owl:
they spoil the milk!
they stop all the clocks!
they use their h-rns to put holes in your socks!
everyone else:
the backson’s the one who’s been putting holes in our socks!
roo:
tell us more about what backsons do!
tigger:
yes more about what backsons do!
owl:
more about what backsons do?
why don’t we hear some thoughts from you?
tigger:
maybe they make you sleep too late?
owl:
yes. yes! that’s good. that’s great!
eeyore:
i bet they’re the reason my tail is gone
owl:
you’re on a roll! go on! go on!
rabbit:
they muddy up your tidy house!
piglet:
they make you feel as small as a mouse!
roo:
they break your crayons!
rabbit:
they spill your tea!
kanga:
they wake up babies at one and three!
eeyore:
they made me catch the cold i caught
pooh:
they made me lose my train of thought
tigger:
they swipe your stripes!
piglet:
they clog your pipes!
rabbit:
they dig up your garden!
eeyore:
they won’t beg your pardon
pooh:
they eat your snacks!
piglet:
they won’t relax!
rabbit:
they chip your tooth!
kanga:
they steal your youth!
owl:
and now you know the horrible truth!
all:
the backson! the backson!
the backson! the backson!
oh no!
rabbit:
oh yes!
everybody else:
huh?
rabbit:
i know exactly what to do
we’ll find things backson are partial to
pooh:
like books?
kanga:
and dishes?
piglet:
and socks?
roo:
and toys!
rabbit:
yes! everything that a backson destroys
then we’ll dig an enormous pit
and he’ll make the items lead to it
he’ll fall in and we’ll get our friend!
owl:
and the horrible nightmare can come to an end!
the backson!
all:
the backson!
owl:
the backson!
all:
the backson!
owl:
go home and search your closets!
bring everything that you can!
everyone else:
the backson! the backson!
we’re gonna catch the backson!
owl:
we’ll save christopher robin
by following rabbit’s plan!
everyone else:
the backson! the backson!
we’ll save christopher robin!
we must be brave and have no fear!
owl:
so to the death we’ll persevere!!!
everyone else:
we’ll search by the sun and the light of the moon
and if everything goes well
we’ll be back soon!
owl:
back soon…
everyone else:
back soon!
owl:
sounds like backson
everyone else:
back soon!
owl:
oh well. good luck everyone!
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