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crazy ex-girlfriend cast - greg's drinking song lyrics

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[greg]
gather ye ’round and i’ll tell you a tale
of all the great times i’ve had with an ale
there’s joy and there’s glory, more than you can think
yes, this is what happens to me when i drink!

i pee my pants! my pants! i pee my pants
i get up from the bar to find pee on my pants!
i say it’s water, but all it takes is a glance
for people to realize i peed my pants!

[white josh, spoken]
wow, i did not know it was that bad

[greg]
yes, wine can be fun — white, rosé and red
’till i call up my boss to say i wish he was dead
chase down the regret with some gin for good luck
then steal my cousin jim’s landscaping truck

drive home then
i puke on my cat, my cat! i puke on my cat
i fall through the doorway and puke on my cat
poor little bruno did not expect that
i try for the toilet but puke on my cat!

while some can enjoy a scotch with a steak
or one gl-ss of wine, then they’re barely awake
for me it’s much different what happens when
i try to have one, it just turns into ten
and then…

i fly a plane, a plane! i fly a plane
i knock on the c-ckpit shouting, “i’ll fly this plane!”
we emergency landed, the tsa came
now i’m banned from southwest ’cause i try to fly planes!

everybody!

[all men, except greg]
he has s-x with a bush, a bush! he has s-x with a bush!

[greg]
that wasn’t a woman?

[all men, except greg]
no it was a bush!
it had twigs and leaves ’cause it was a bush!

[greg]
that’s where that scar comes from!

[all men, except greg]
from s-xing a bush!

but he’s breaking the cycle and making a push!
he’s quitting his drinking
and saving his pants and his cat and southwest and jim’s truck

[hector]
and my car

[white josh]
my car too!

[all men]
and a bush!

- crazy ex girlfriend cast lyrics

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