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crazy ex-girlfriend cast – textmergency lyrics

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[harry]
time is running out
you’ve got to act now
stay one step ahead
of that moronic text somehow

[connie]
there’s no turning back
here in the danger zone
you’ve got to manually delete that text
from that dude’s cell phone!

[rebecca, spoken]
thank you, officers!

[police officer, spoken]
good luck, rebecca!

[harry]
it’s a—

[harry & connie]
textmergency

[harry]
baby, can’t you see?

[harry & connie]
textmergency

[harry]
that term just occurred to me
it’s gonna catch on instantly!

[connie]
wait, what about
textastrophe?
that sounds better to me!
textastrophe!
that could really spread virally!

[harry]
i prefer textmergency

[rebecca’s client]
i accidentally texted my mother-in-law
a picture of my erection

[connie’s client]
i once group texted my whole staff
about my yeast infection!

[harry]
exactly! it’s so relatable
that’s why i coined the phrase:

[connie]
textastrophe!
that’s the meme, don’t you agree?

[harry]
all due respect
textmergency
is the better term, miss c

[connie]
hmmm, i wanna go with
textastrophe
i already put it on urban dictionary

[ghost of steve jobs, spoken]
you fools! it doesn’t matter what it’s called. that’s right, it’s me, the ghost of steve jobs! what matters is that i control your lives from the grave! technology is slowly alienating everyone from their loved ones—ha ha ha ha ha!
and when you send a few words to the wrong recipient and it immediately destroys your life, that’s called a—

(sung)
messagepocalypse!

[all rockers]
get out of here, steve jobs!

[connie’s client, spoken]
guys, what about that lawyer chick? we’ve gotten really off track…

[harry]
she’s searching for the spare key
looked under the mat!

[connie]
it’s clearly hidden in that owl!

[rebecca’s client]
look in that flower pot, hurry!

[connie’s client]
hurry up and check that buddha sconce

[all rockers]
check the buddha sconce
check the buddha sconce!

[harry]
she did it!
now she can delete the text
she won’t need to come up with a
textcuse!

[connie]
texplanation!

[harry, spoken]
textmergency just flows!

[connie, spoken]
no, dude, textastrophe, it’s what it is…

[rebecca’s client, spoken]
dude, she’s totally right.

[connie’s client, spoken]
textscuse me!

- crazy ex girlfriend cast lyrics

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