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crazy ex-girlfriend cast - what's your story? lyrics

(spoken intro)
[jessie]
the h-ll?

(song)
[rebecca]
story, story, what’s your story?
story, story, what’s your crime?
what got you here?
rage, l-st, or fear?
we all got a story ’cause we’re doing time

ra ta ta
ra ta ta
ra ta ta

(spoken interlude)
tell your story. ra ta ta

[jessie]
um. ok, fine. my boyfriend had meth in the glove compartment of our car and i got pulled over for something else and a cop found it

[rebecca]
ooh! well, did you dump that good-for-nothing drug planting boyfriend!

[jessie]
no, we’re still together. i love him

[rebecca]
oh. well, did you at least tell the cops that it was his meth?

[jessie]
i mean, i could have turned him in, but my boyfriend and i have a son. i can’t risk our child having both parents in jail

[rebecca]
that’s true. that’s-that’s a good point

(song)
story, story, let’s hear another story
story, story, that one was just sad
what does your story say
about the patriarch-ay?
we all have got stories ’cause we did bad

ra ta ta
ra ta ta
ra ta ta

(spoken interlude)
story, go! ra ta ta

[hanifa]
okay! i stole a sweater from the mall

[rebecca]
ooh! had you been stealing all your life?! was this the culmination of a life of kleptomania? or were you doing it to stick it to the problematic fashion industry?

[hanifa]
no…, the heat went out in my apartment and i couldn’t afford a sweater, so i stole one

[white inmate]
oh my god, i stole a sweater too! i got two months, how long are you in for?

[hanifa]
three years

[white inmate]
i’m so sorry

(song)
[rebecca]
story, story, these are barely stories
they’re just bleak anecdotes with no start or end

(spoken interlude)
go tell-tell your story, tell your story

[cybil]
sure, i have a story. i’m in here for murder

[rebecca]
ooh! murder! juicy! ra ta ta

[cybil]
while i was driving, my daughter texted me that she was in the hospital and i got so distracted that, i hit a teenager who was crossing the street and he died

(song)
[rebecca]
story, story, oh my god with that story
story, story, take away her chair

(spoken outro)
[white inmate]
i’m so sorry, i’m so sorry

[rebecca]
okay, you know what, i’m just gonna share my story, because you guys aren’t really versed with a sense of story structure, so i’m gonna show you how it’s done

i was a no-good, manipulative love addict with undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. i swindled! drum! i cheated! drum! i called out a hit on my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend! drum drum! then, one day, this guy trent came into my life. he was ironically just like me. and he tried to k!ll the man i love, so i pushed him off a building! and then, when i plead guilty just for like, metaphorical symbolism, the judge knew i was innocent so she didn’t accept my plea but i wanted to go to jail anyway

[jessie]
wait, what?

[cybil]
you don’t have to be here?

[jasmine]
you chose to be here?

[rebecca]
wait
ra ta ta
ra ta ta
ra ta ta

- crazy ex girlfriend cast lyrics

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