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crimsonteddy - music helped me through it all lyrics

[verse 1]
sense the day of my birth i was raised to the earth
stained with the curse of brains filled with dirt
constant pain and it hurts sh+t is lame, never works out for me
always make fun of me doubting me
say i’ll never be able to make this path work
always something wrong no matter how much i master
i’m just an actor
always wear a smile where inside it’s too much pain for me to handle
feel guilty talking about my emotions
i let these demons drip in and poke the
bear until it comes out in a fit of rage
i spit thе same sh+t all the time in a diffеrent day
i’m just stuck in a f+cking loop
you don’t f+ck up on me i’ll f+ck up you
accept more with more than enough to do
can never catch a break and that’s just the f+cking truth
every day it’s just too much abuse
there’s nothing i provide someone couldn’t do better
i’m not the guy to date you could f+cking do better
i’m just a copy, a fake, a lame, i’m weird, ain’t straight, ain’t g+y, ain’t happy, ain’t tame, i ain’t mad, i ain’t sane
too needy, too greedy, unpleasing, too scared
insecure if you use a s+x toy let alone someone been in there
too many times i been shut down and hurt
no matter how much you do i’ll always think of the worst
i’m too boring, alone and ain’t boned i’m controlling
undiagnosed issues make me compulsive
convulsing these notions unloading the data all on me just leaving me hopeless
can’t count how many times i’ve f+cking been broken
sense old partners od’d it triggers me i can’t get with these chicks if they even smoke pot
i know there’s no harm but it makes my dome rot
h+ll i’ve even puffed the weed and took an eddie
only in relationships does it f+ck me mentally
don’t know what to do, my mental road is going down steady
in life the chances you have you ain’t allowed many
might put a gun to my brain and let it +gun shot+ end me
cutting myself i’m releasing the demons
these evils keep reaping cathedrals of people of keeping their head strong
think i’ve lived right? you’re dead wrong
not too many people i know haven’t left dawg but yo!
sense i been a baby i lived through it all
bowels exploded, give away my dogs
fly off dirt bikes, slip, trip and fall
girls cheating just to get some c+ck
always felt like a worker but never boss
always pushed to the dirt and told kick rocks
set up in pain sense i kicked off the block as a tot and out of the womb i set up shop
for these trials you could never plot
always better c+ck, always better bods
always better stuff, forever better songs
feel your lowest but stand tall
walk around and act like you the man dawg
get up like you never had fall
taking some bumps? just brush your pads off
to be accepted you best be mad smart
by school definition, in their plans y’all, aye
been beating defeated but keeping my head tall
but inside i feel like death dawg
maybe dead is where i’d be best off
surrounded by this sh+t, it never ends y’all
by life we feel abused, like h+lls for you it’s on
the truth can help but ruin far more
you lose yourself but know this y’all
i feel useless but music helped me through it all, done
[outro]
d+d+d+d+d+done
i’ll die for this art
yeah, some of you motherf+ckers out there get that

- crimsonteddy lyrics

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