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croweman & the ape - caf god lyrics

[chorus]
d+mn, there he is again
half man
half god
every day i see him eating at the caf with the whole squad
let me take a photograph
get the ape’s auto graph
five times a day, this man will break plexiglass
outta be outlawed
from the pod
ramrod
cruising around the joint like the apes a f+cking hotrod
all the time access
swiping for the masses
call him nothing less of the mother f+cking caf god

[tractor’s verse]
raps as gourmet as his soufflé
running around town like every day a dooms day
grabbing up a plate and grabbing up a fork
determining your fate while getting h+lla pork
swiping up the honeys and swiping in the meals
showing all his bunny’s that he got the good deals
you know
i know
we know
its joe
the bro
to go
oh no
a hoe
towards a motherf+cker with bad mommy issues
leave the man alone or get your d+mn tissues
cruising round the caf and everybody know
a seat at his table is the best place to go
everyone knows that i’m an og
but mess with him and it’s a gg
the bod
the nod
from god
oh lord
oh god
my god
its god
caf god
now we got to dip
got the last chip
let’s hit a few rips and see a few nips
and we prep to hit the rep
become adept
become hotep
we share a laugh on behalf of the god of the caf
get ready for bars like graph
better get the graft
i’m a split you in half
you’d best get ready to take the staff
[chorus]
d+mn, there he is again
half man
half god
every day i see him eating at the caf with the whole squad
let me take a photograph
get the ape’s auto graph
five times a day, this man will break plexiglass
outta be outlawed
from the pod
ramrod
cruising around the joint like the apes a f+cking hotrod
all the time access
swiping for the masses
call him nothing less of the mother f+cking caf god

[the ape’s first verse]
headed for the caf after every class
i’m hungry like a fat cow in a field of grass
except that i’m skinny and i move like a cat
as i’m headed into combat with the doormat
love is a strong word
hungry and i’ll be heard
yeah, it’s all for me
claim it now make a password
fifteen swipes a day
i won’t blow them away
if the caf were to ever close
i’d call it doomsday
i love the caf so much i’m a huge fan
all the workers know me
the call me smoothie man
entering the caf is just a simple scan
i can go all alone or bring the whole d+mn fam
d+mn tim where you at?
it’s twelve fifteen and i’m ready to head back
no not moe’s i don’t want a stack
and don’t even mention uno’s
you’re gonna make me yack
now my stomach is rumbling
thing sounds like it’s mumbling
there i go stumbling
out of class tumbling fumbling juggling my stuff
i appear to be struggling
i’m hustling and bustling
my stomach is trumpeting
holy cr+p its malfunctioning as if the café is summoning
running by i’m hurrying
all the people wondering
where the h+ll i’m going
burst through the doors
the caf was calling
here i am ballin
[chorus]
d+mn, there he is again
half man
half god
every day i see him eating at the caf with the whole squad
let me take a photograph
get the ape’s auto graph
five times a day, this man will break plexiglass
outta be outlawed
from the pod
ramrod
cruising around the joint like the apes a f+cking hotrod
all the time access
swiping for the masses
call him nothing less of the mother f+cking caf god

[the ape’s second verse]
now, to the caf i am chosen
cause i’m eating there at every possible moment
yeah, i own it
rap about the café not just god but a poet
one of a kind
everybody gon’ know it
all the workers are my disciples, yeah, yeah
i’m the lord above and the caf is my cathedral
to my people i’m a god they worship evil
i’m the man with the crown
wear it king of the table
showing up high in the middle of the night
chains down, cafs closed, just wanted a little bite
turn around, look, right in my line of sight
the wizard sits with the loft, call it a knight’s highlight
walking to the caf in the rain
not a pain, don’t complain
i got nothing to explain
this is happening croweman
just accept it and be grateful there is no aspartame
i’m a regu+ no – the most regular face
on my plate i won’t leave a trace because every day ima retrace my steps without any checks or balances
my life is great when i enter the gateway to the caf
never will i wait
cause i’m a god, caf heavyweight
in hear more than the workers who make the plates
no need to regulate free food
just need to educate all my classmates about why they should appreciate the caf, never hesitate
[chorus]
d+mn, there he is again
half man
half god
every day i see him eating at the caf with the whole squad
let me take a photograph
get the ape’s auto graph
five times a day, this man will break plexiglass
outta be outlawed
from the pod
ramrod
cruising around the joint like the apes a f+cking hotrod
all the time access
swiping for the masses
call him nothing less of the mother f+cking caf god
yeah, yeah, caf god, caf god, caf god
caf, caf, caf god, caf god, caf god

[the ape’s outro]
shout out to my man brian at the international station
you can’t put a price on this guy’s famous rice
when he makes it, he’s so precise
always making sure to us the ideal amount of spice
let me give y’all some advise
this for you and your whole d+mn squad
appreciate the caf for it is not flawed
and don’t ever forget that i’m the f+cking caf god

- croweman the ape lyrics

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