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crypt (rap) - if my heart had wings lyrics

[verse 1]
seems like every now and then
i try to pick myself [?]
but how can i expect to do that?
i don’t even feel like picking up my phone
i’m stuck somewhere in+between one and someone there all the time
but sometimes i don’t have enough energy to even stay on the line
’cause i’ve been down and out
i’ve been down this road
and i know that it ends in nowhere
but still here i go
’cause it’s all i know
and therе’s comfort in being [?]
[chorus]
if my heart had wings
i’d fly away far
far from the light
‘causе i like the dark
if my heart had wings
’cause in the dark
all those mirrors don’t shine
and i never have to look myself in the eyes
if my heart had wings
i’d say bye to this world i despise
and i’d fly to the heavens above
if my heart had wings
maybe then i’d regain some respect
for myself, and i’d love who i was
if my heart had wings

[verse 2]
i just wish that i could know my purpose
everything i got, i feel like i don’t deserve it
my entire life, i’ve been out there searching
but i’m always cold inside like a thermos
i got hated on for being me
so i started hating who i was
and ever since that moment
i ain’t never been the same
self hatred is a drug
and i’m addicted
not by decision
but by association with the wicked
and every time i try to kick it
life looks at me and doubles up on my prescription
the man in the reflection i despise
i’ve tried to change him, but it’s every time
i try to force him forward, he enjoys the torture
wants it more, and goes to hit rewind
i’m stuck in a cycle of pain and denial
i’ve stomached more than i could take
feels like the older i’m getting
the more i’m forgetting
how simple life was in the day
back when happiness was my default emotion
the past i picked was filled with rocky roads
and i scream when i think about the life i’ve chosen
’cause sometimes i don’t wanna be a soldier
i just wanna be a man
simple life, simple goals, simple plans
god help, i’ve got a lot to love in my life
but one of them isn’t myself
and everyone i love deserves better
my girl, my family, my friends, and my fans
they need the best that i can give ’em
but i cannot do that when the pain never ends
so please, grant me this wish
let me fly so i can be at my best, and i’ll show it
and if my heart don’t grow wings
i’ll rip it right out of my chest, and i’ll throw it
[chorus]
if my heart had wings
i’d fly away far
far from the light
’cause i like the dark (’cause i like the dark)
if my heart had wings
’cause in the dark
all those mirrors don’t shine
and i never have to look myself in the eyes (look myself in the eyes)
if my heart had wings
i’d say bye to this world i despise
and i’d fly to the heavens above (fly to the heavens above)
if my heart had wings
maybe then i’d regain some respect
for myself, and i’d love who i was
if my heart had wings

- crypt rap lyrics

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