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cubbiebear - are you okay? lyrics

so i guess the baby’s not happenin’
neither is our time
i’m not worried about sounding weak to others
look, i’ll be just fine
besides, i don’t fear the judgement
jaded enough ‘n let ’em try
accept the comments like compliments
i don’t even have to ask why

if you ever see me in debates or
break simple sounds to my face
all i see is slow motion
scream and i’ll speak in silence
so wait
i’m tired of quoting myself
when every word they speak sounds the same
i shake my head in frustration
till i sleep and wake on groundhog day

dealt with the weight of the world against me
at such a young age
i scare too easy to commit to more than company
in fear it might fade
i’ll be left with the weight of friendships
or furthermore fanning old flames
still seeing our first dance together
when i hear ray lamontagne

hold you in my arms forever
and never break
so we could never stray
but traits put a pressure weathered embrace
better, untethered we came
every letter we made to measure effort
read it and our complexion would drain, gray
the closer we got was heathered in
lesser our hearts race

maybe i’m afraid
but i don’t wanna be
hope for home
and its haunted company
ghosts they roam
and i run to see
when close
it’s cold and no one’s in front of me so
now you know the noise
when i fall with no one around
same thing plays when we embrace
and your arms stay down
it’s that sound

now i sing for all who take it
let it ring through halls and wasted
bring it on
with all my flaws
aim in fire
where my face is
right or wrong
it’s what i say
and put in songs
that, relax some day
a friend will hear this and have to ask
are you okay?
in my head i’ll say

music’s all i got
a sh-ll of myself when i speak
a mess in sheets your face visits me every night in my sleep
see your smile before i wake
so i hold tight to my dreams
keep you close but no one knows
and every morning you leave

up at noon and fight to rise
but it gets harder to move
it’s all the same, am i awake?
i pinch my arm to find truth
fake my way through every day
a waste it can’t end too soon
so i can drink myself to sleep again
and hope to see you

with nothing left
i’ll fake the friends and every evening i sip
erase the day and waste awake
i press a gl-ss to my lips
in pain i play with blame alone
and do my best to forget
drink my jones so i can go
back to where you still exist

i hope you hold your own better than me
all hidin’ in crowds
awake in pieces, sleep in ease at least
without any doubt

i’ll leave you be until i dream
i hope to see you around
but i’ll be too proud to say that out loud

those dreams are turning nightmares
filled with scars
where i’m afraid to sleep again
i’ll fight till fate on fallen knees but scream to stay awake
run in pain
i’ll slate the shame i’ll seek the sun in craze
with friends at bay i’ll shake and place my hands to show and push away
the shame and hate
i’ll take and make a weight to anchor blame
and face the free at sea
but see your face through every wave
i wave
they’re all the same
the stars
your silhouette
your shape
i’ll wade through storms
your image swept with every breath
when i let out your name

for every day i wake and fake my way through friends
at night i fight myself through dreams of waves
and try to learn to swim
so i watch it
swallow till i’m sick
holding posture
pathetic
drown in apathy and whiskey
speaking too honest
but it’s truth, not p-ssive to say it aloud
should be proof
in terms of you
i don’t accuse so loosely and i’m angry too
so to talk
waited like wine
let it age to pain
loose my wrist with a bit
between college we lie and dance
i’ll leave you with this

when i asked to visit
you left it saying
don’t call if something’s wrong
i don’t wanna be your vacation
so if i’m sick and hurt
and you wonder why you haven’t heard from me
think of your terms
“i don’t wanna be your emergency”

enjoy the weather
i hope the heat helps the hatred
rage in pain
your parents pampered every day you slave to forget my name
no more notes
confetti flakes let it rain in plain
and watch the letters fade on flipping paper
are you (okay)

- cubbiebear lyrics

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