czar (band) - arachnochondriac lyrics
i’m not afraid of the scars i can see
this fear is an anchor, and it’s very real to me
yes, i’ve heard that ‘fear is the mind-k!ller’
but i left my courage in the wine cellar
nauseating insect, my skin grows crisp and black
self diagnosis: arachnochondriac
head wounds and seizure dreams
of a pain-thieving fever-fiend
tunnel vision kaleidoscoping as
anxiety multiplies
met with misguided
eyerolls and exaggerated sighs
trash breathers
shaking wet hands
my despair an obvious
inconvenience, in spite of all of their plans
(oh! unconditional fear)
they’ll you that you can use them as a lifeline
but they’ll make you promise not to pull too hard
ah, what use is a fairweather savior?
metamorphosis complete: i have become a burden
a pharmaceutical fetishist on eight trembling legs
emergency!
the doctor crouched on all fours, reptilian in stench and posture
l1cking my eyerolls, cherry red bandages, and hardened husk of skin
“you look so elegant in your hospital gown, with your splints, casts, and bandages holding you down… but you taste so sour and self absorbed. no. l1ck your own wounds.”
l1ck
your
own
wounds
but i don’t have a tongue behind my mandible, so i can’t l1ck my own wounds
i’m not afraid of the scars i can see
but the scars behind my eyes are very frightening
medicated numbness drips intravenously
shrugging off the need for this dirty sympathy
i’ve found
frailty is beautiful
intensive care is s-xy
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