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d-code - fade away lyrics

sleepless nights, an endless daze, this depression a relentless phase
mind trapped in a twisted maze yet these bars free me from this cage
guilt and remorse cause you’re a corpse but dwelling on it makes it worse
every time i close my eyes i see you fall to gravity’s force
twisted visions playing out right behind my sockets
driving me insane, i try but cannot stop it
suicidal whispers, desperate to block it
full to the brim about to spill it’s not time to kick the bucket
out with this madness not me i swear i will not give in despite the many tears
life is too precious to waste, and even though you gave it up with haste
i know you too well to say this was your chosen fate
but these things we realize often too late
pills to take these memories away
what will k!ll this pain and make it fade
some do it for the h-ll of it
but if it’s not a choice do you think well of it
it’s not a lifestyle that i chose
what holds me up also keeps me close
to the knowledge that i can’t turn back
i won’t stop it when fades away to black

my teenage years were troubled, in and out the psych ward
on different medications, and i could barely have my word
or say on what was happening, override the cyborg
had me feeling so cold and mechanical my lord
the doctors prescribed the pills for my own good
drug pushers on the block or are they state-sponsored
i can hardly tell the difference; man this is way too absurd
supposed to help me at least that’s what they made sure i understood
bipolar what they labeled me, experienced dark dreams and ecstasy
mood swings up and down, the blessed curse of lunacy
i see it’s a gift, it gave me creativity
but it’s a burden on my health, when it starts to hinder me
the worst is when family sees me and starts to get affected
knowing this dark self-hatred was what got my dad addicted
so for his sake, that’s a path that i just can’t take
this life’s a dream that fades away; i pray i see him when i wake

so one day i awoke
to find a ray of sun
shining down on me
i hear a voice say son
this the day you waited for
your true life has begun
my troubles fade away to black
and not even one
remains to haunt me
i feel the freedom of being care free
reunited with the ones we lost
it is extraordinary
so overcome how can this be
a vision or a memory
you shimmer in front of me
fade away back to reality
maybe just a mirage yet it’s one that gave me hope
so even if i depend on drugs it is better than sliding down the slope
into hopelessness and worthlessness that is not my self
so these feelings of inferiority i finally put them on the shelf
picture before you a blank and empty page
the ink stains of your past, watch them slowly fade
the pen is in your hand now anything might be
now turn your destiny into your memories

- d code lyrics

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