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da phat controlla - ho ho (ho) [a$ap rocky - peso parody] lyrics

[intro: sample of santa’s super sleigh]
look who’s coming ’round the bend
it’s santa and his reindeer friends

[verse 1: da phat controlla]
i be that festive motherf-cka, north pole’s what i’m reppin’
tell my elves quit the b-tching, we gon’ make sh-t in a second
teenagers disrespect me, f-ck their sh-t i’m hectic
you get jack sh-t if you’re naughty, i ain’t coming to no poor kids
sleigh’s so impressive, moving at a quick pace
for all the rich kids, and then especially for kevin
then evan, after eleven, i gets you the presents
red suits, black boots usually what i’m dressed in
for mum’s c-nts buckle up, i come in your direction
in your house, between b00bies up, on my erection
decorate the front lawn, or your house ain’t getting nothing
if you expect a present, leave cookies on the dressing

[hook:]
you better bet i know, b-tches be getting coal
on christmas day i be like ho ho (ho) x 2
(clop clop clop clop, merry christmas boy)
(clop clop clop clop, here you get a toy)
(clop clop clop clop, i don’t want no soy)
on christmas day i be like ho ho (ho)

[verse 2:]
ho ho ho
your momma thinks i’m hot, man i asked “is he asleep?”
then we gon’ smoke a lot, right back up the chimney
pull up on the rooftop, but i don’t have any keys
even though yo house got locks, i come down the chimney
yeah yeah i see, i’m feeling right on these double d’s
that’s for me? heh thanks, but i do this sh-t for free
as soon as i leave, yeah i can finally breathe
that wasn’t best yeah, but it’s fun for christmas eve
it hails, can’t fail; the game: x-mas
escorts, newport, this here be my life still
so mami tell how my d-ck feels
next year we play that vick feel, for now just chill

[hook]

[spoken outro:]
yeah, thanks for listening
have a merry christmas everyone
and uh, i don’t really f-ck all yo mommas
or… maybe i do
what’s her… what’s her name again?
i mean… i don’t know if i’d really remember, but
there’s a chance i might have, so
just take that into consideration
and i hope you’re not that mad about it
but anyway, um yeah, bye
til next time, and next year

- da phat controlla lyrics

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