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dan black and the coco pebbles - church lyrics

[verse 1: luke’s a hazard]

my granny told me to go to church
to meet a nice catholic girl
so i suited up
put my sunday best on
i gotta give this a whirl
granny ain’t lying
this girl in the front row
got a booty that’s just to fine
holla girl, you over there
the one with the booty and the pristine hair
meet me back in my chevrolet
holy h-ll, what the sh-t
the perfect mix of thick and fit
about to be all up on my d-ck (yeah)
church turned this one day
right into a fun day
pencil me in for every sunday

[hook: captain hook]
y’all mother f-ckers need jesus
y’all mother f-ckers need jesus
y’all mother f-ckers need jesus
oh, lord, lord. yes you do

[bridge: captain hook]
lord, lord, lord, lord
(y’all mother f-ckers need jesus.)
yeah, you need jesus

[verse 2:that kid from cleveland]
my girl said, “let’s go
gotta get to church, yo.”
and i said “h-ll no, but you can suck my d-ck, though.”
she grabed me by the shoulder (ow)
“get in the truck
you’ll have to come with me if you ever wanna f-ck.” (but football)
now i’m sitting at m-ss and who do i see?
it’s my god d-mn b-tch teacher from grade three (b-tch)
on her knees, hands crossed, her eyes are closed
funny got in trouble with the gym teacher while in that same pose
across the way the hottest chick in town
was praying for forgiveness for getting all around (eww)
now i’m not saying she’s pr-ne to sin
but she’s basically a modern day mary magdalen (cough sl-t)
now the entire time the priest was talking to jesus
“he came down as a man. he came down to free us.”
he actually seemed like a pretty cool guy
if he were still alive, i’d invite him to some tiki time

[hook: captain hook]

[grand master vanilla b-st-rd]
nine a.m. i’ma bust out the gr-ss
d-mn straight i’m getting high before m-ss
walk in reeking through the elegant doors
more stoned than an old testament wh0r-
eyes red as the devils d-ck
i’ve got the munchies, can’t wait for the eucharist
i’ll be sipping on wine
worshiping the divine
glorifying the most high
with the dopest of rhymes
i’m hoping to find christ;
lord knows i need him
if i’m not already going to h-ll i’ll give god a reason
walk up to the priest during his homily and
drag him from podium
kicking and screaming
pick up the mic and spit
f-ck this sh-t
i’m running the church
gospel of nate chapter four verse
twenty, and the lord said
honor the sabbath, today’s sunday fun day
lead the congregation straight out the door
bumping ghetto gospel on the way to the liquor store
party at the beach, dj spin it again-
sunday funday. can i get an amen?

[chris again]
hey, hey, everybody it’s sunday
sleeping past noon gonna be another fun day
all my homies are stuck at church
but i’m throwing on a bears t-shirt
devil would dig my rolling sk!lls fo-sheezy
good god, i just puffed another bleezy
instead of listening to what the preacher had to say
i lit up another mother f-cking jay
good lord suddenly there’s candles
swear to god i was hoverin’ among angels
sweet baby jesus took me and said, “let’s go.”
packed a bowl of the heavenly medical
floating among the clouds, sobriety’s what i wrestle
sweet mary’s bosom’s where i nestled
’till god came and b-tch slapped my mental
sh-t, now i’m laying on the ground
my boy nate dawg just snagged a pound
sunday funday is now my background sound
every one of my bros are out
we’re trying to burn a few down

[hook: captain hook]

[outro: dan black and the coco pebbles]
y’all mother f-ckers need jesus
y’all mother f-ckers need jesus
y’all mother f-ckers need jesus
y’all mother f-ckers need jesus

- dan black and the coco pebbles lyrics

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