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dan bull - can't be arsed lyrics

for a long time, i grew up thinking i was lazy. but then one day, i realised: i’m not lazy. i just have really high standards. for doing stuff. efficient

call me any nasty word: bum, slob, slacker, nerd
i can’t be -rs-d to come up with a comeback you haven’t heard
can’t be -rs-d to do my tax return, i’ve got cash to burn
and i can’t be -rs-d to invest the stacks i’ve earned
can’t be -rs-d to chat, converse with you, i’m taciturn
can’t be -rs-d to drive a car because i’d have to learn
can’t be asked press the gas, i kinda like the back seat
thank god for uber cause i can’t be asked to call a taxi
to take the rubbish out (well) i’d have to pick it up and put it down
and my brown wheelie bin’s got a funny smell
simple daily stuff is a battle to grapple with tasks that should be natural’s too much of a h-ssle, i’m stuck in a shackle
every kilojoule i physically exert, strenuous
just point me to where the desert menu is!
can’t be -rs-d to hit the kitchen, not moving out this seat
what food i’ll have to eat
pot noodle, naturally
can’t be -rs-d to feed the cat, little needy tw-t
don’t want to peel a pack and pour it, can’t you deal with that?

effort? eff-it, eff-it
effort? eff-it, eff-it
effort? eff-it, eff-it
effort? eff-it, eff-it

can’t be -rs-d to wake up and get out of bed
i’m the laziest from a to… eff-it can’t be -rs-d with the alphabet
effort? eff-it!
retention? forget it!
tension? don’t stress it, getting too much? just let it
can’t be -rs-d to open the post and pay the bills
can’t be -rs-d to practice rap and elevate my sk!lls
can’t be -rs-d to open my eyes or socialise
can’t be -rs-d to vocalise
[silence]
i can’t be -rs-d with shows and live sets, learning loads of lines
can’t be -rs-d to leave the house, i’m staying home tonight
can’t be -rs-d to visit mates of mine, it’s a waste of time, i can play online and get my gossip through the grapevine
can’t be -rs-d to shave my face or get a haircut, to trek up to the barbers just to trek back cause they’re shut
so my hair is messed up, i can’t be -rs-d to style it, i let myself go, and can’t be -rs-d to fight it
i’ve lost all control and can’t be -rs-d to find it
ha, freestyling this song, i can’t be -rs-d to write it
can’t be -rs-d to rap on beat, i rap off
beat
hehe!
can’t be -rs-d to even laugh properly
can’t be -rs-d to try composing melodies with no luck
i c.b.a. to write my own hook!

effort? eff-it, eff-it
effort? eff-it, eff-it
effort? eff-it, eff-it
effort? eff-it, eff-it

it doesn’t matter what it is, man, i can’t be -rs-d
come to think of it, i can’t be -rs-d to not be -rs-d
and if i can’t be -rs-d to not be -rs-d, i can’t be -rs-d to not be -rs-d to not be -rs-d
so i guess that means i can’t be -rs-d to write filler
because i can’t be -rs-d to be considered anything apart from an ice-cold mic-k!ller
can’t be -rs-d with your rap so i will write songs
can’t be -rs-d with tiredness so i sleep all night long
can’t be -rs-d to go on the doll so i got a full-time job
got a girlfriend that can’t be -rs-d to pull my kn-b
can’t be -rs-d to m-st-rbate, over the past few days i’ve been far too busy to be -rs-d to procrastinate
i stand out, can’t be -rs-d to hang out in the background
hit the gym cause i can’t be -rs-d to carry all that fat round
keep it deep i can’t be -rs-d to dumb the track down
i can’t be -rs-d to not make my mum and dad proud i
can’t be -rs-d to be fat, so when i see snacks i think “you know what? i can’t be -rs-d to eat that.”
can’t be -rs-d to die young from heart disease
can’t be -rs-d to force my blood through clogged up arteries
can’t be -rs-d to be hard to please so i take it easy cause i can’t be -rs-d to make my own life hard for me
i’d like to say i do it for my health but i just can’t be -rs-d to delegate i do it all myself

effort? eff-it, eff-it
effort? eff-it, eff-it
effort? eff-it, eff-it
effort? eff-it, eff-it

i used to think: “eff-it, i’m not doing it.”
but now i think: “eff-it, i’m doing it!”
i used to think: “eff-it, i’m not doing it.”
but now i think: “eff-it, i’m doing it!”

- dan bull lyrics

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