dan bull - house flipper lyrics
[verse 1]
hey, let me tell you what the deal is, mate
i’m the biggest thing in real estate
fearless, ay, i’m making lowball bids
winning the sale, taking home all this
more square feet than a cubist shoe shop
clean up ’til i need another new mop
picking up dirt, flipping endlessly
’til i break it down like m.o.p
i demolish when i knock that wall
so polished when i mop that floor
give it a shine that’ll drop that jaw
of any buyer when they knock that door
as soon as they start walking up that hall
i know that it’s already sold
freehold or leasehold
i can turn concrete to bl++dy gold
i could sell you
a property for way more than the market value
tell you what here’s a one time offer if
you buy it now i’ll knock a couple ton off of it
can’t turn that down, it’s a bargain
there’s a double garage you can park in
look at the garden, white picket fence
you could live in it now or buy just to rent
[chorus]
watch me flip this f+cking house like nothing else
lost count of the discounts that i’ve found, look, i’m lucking out
house flipper, call me the house flipper
n0body else can flip a house quicker
house flipper, call me the house flipper
n0body else can flip a house quicker
house flipper, house flipper
[verse 2]
renovating and decorating is second nature to me
changing a mess to a place so impressive, you’d better wait and then see
i’m a resident therapist
for anybody leaving their residence derelict
wherever you live, i’m going to step in and develop it
take a trash heap, leave a villa instead of it
find an old place that is empty, buy it
and then i gentrify it
i don’t find property like you
don’t do zoopla, don’t do rightmove
i buy buildings for like millions
triple the price and provide for my children
i’m sk!lled in building sh+t
chucking out junk see me fill this skip
so if you don’t feel this, skip
’cause you can’t take it back to the dealership
like a german whip this is a real commitment
i’m building buildings that are built for business
and the bill reflects this, sk!lled with checklist, i fill with exes until the check clears
and then i do it again even bigger and better, repeating the method and leaving realtors breathless
[chorus]
watch me flip this f+cking house like nothing else
lost count of the discounts that i’ve found, look, i’m lucking out
house flipper, call me the house flipper
n0body else can flip a house quicker
house flipper, call me the house flipper
n0body else can flip a house quicker
house flipper, house flipper
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