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dan bull - not a player lyrics

[verse 1]
i’m not a player, i just suck a lot
i couldn’t give a shucking fit whether we win the cup or not
in real life i can’t even kick it
i’ve never been to a match, let alone bought a season ticket
there’s no denying my sk!ll though
i can dribble all over my pillow
i can’t do a scissor kick, but i can kick scissors
and sue whoever manufactured them for six figures
i’m a man on a mission with ambition
to be the sickest soccer kickist in my position
at school i liked playing defender a bit
’cause i could have a chit chat down the end of the pitch
with my friend who was sh-t, we used to collect stickers
but we’d get suspicious even at the scent of a kit
but now i want to make it in the premiership
if you don’t have faith i will, it’ll offend me, you pr-ck

i’m the son of a b-tch that’ll run on the pitch
so awkward you’ll think that were was some kind of glitch
and within a couple of minutes i’ll have st-tch
i don’t want to put the effort in, i just want to be rich
i’m the son of a b-tch that’ll run on the pitch
so awkward you’ll think that were was some kind of glitch
and within a couple of minutes i’ll have st-tch
i don’t want to put the effort in, i just want to be rich

[chorus]
i’m not a player ’cause i suck a lot (hah, huh)
i’m not a player ’cause i suck a lot (ah, oi)
i’m not a player ’cause i suck a lot (heyey!)
i’m not a player ’cause i suck a lot (yeah, ey)

[verse 2]
i’m not a player ’cause i suck a lot
i tripped over my laces and nearly grazed my knuckle off
i can’t even recall a time my side won
my keepy uppy record is like none
by gum, my chum, why try when i
can just hide inside sat on my b-m?
twiddle my thumbs on the joypad, i’d enjoy that
taped over the final to annoy dad
so call the boy bad, i call it fair play
i’m not a good sport or good at sport, i’m bare bait
stuck kicking a snare across the airwaves
better at rap than football, i dare say
though get in the way of my goal and get battered
your reputation wrecked, tattered
sepp blatter
i’m a professional athlete, ‘cept fatter
you’ll never get me to a track meet, i’m already knackered

(yeah)

- dan bull lyrics

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