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dan bull - wiggly willy lyrics

[verse 1]
my full name’s cheltenham d.g.l.b. digby
my diet consists strictly of single malt whisky
i’m particularly sesquipedalian
i’ve not published a single literary failure
and i’d speculate that’s, mainly thanks to the fact
that i don’t even write books, i just rap
trust that, i’m a distinguished linguist
whose voice’s weapon of choice is english
a rhythm wrecking rhetorician, getting recognition
for the fact that i’m swagger’s dictionary definition
on first look, you’re ready for a second listen
i took your sister to third base, cherry picking
heavy hitting, yet with incredible erudition
it’s a travesty you haven’t seen me rapping on your television

[hook]
i’m cheltenham “douglby” digby
my witty words make your w-lly feel all wiggly
i’m cheltenham “douglby” digby
if folk don’t dig me, they don’t know diddly

[verse 2]
allow the grime scene for the time being
i turn the g into a c: crime scene
i’m the nightmare to come and wreck your nice dream
i’ll open up your top like a double-decker; sightseeing
i ripped the rolex off of wiley (yoink!)
and now i wear it in my jacket pocket by my tie, see?
i’m the reason that your wife’s seen the dry cleaner
imbibing my seed like ribena
i’ll livestream it; widescreen
as she lies, s-m-n smeared on her cheeks like a child eating ice cream
she might need a new dress; lewinsky
i’m going mental on your crew’s set; klaus kinski
i’ll kick your mumsy in the mimsy with an air of whimsy
then throw her down the stairs like a slinky

[hook]
i’m cheltenham “douglby” digby
my witty words make your w-lly feel all wiggly
i’m cheltenham “douglby” digby
if folk don’t dig me, they don’t know diddly

[verse 3]
give me a mo, bro; digby
will make your ho go giggly, oh so quickly
the po-po tried to photofit me
i simply did this and they let me go; victory
i don’t have any history, lathered in mystery
someone phone agatha christie
my breath smells of a packet of wrigley’s
mixed with whatever the h-ll my tobacconist gives me
i’ll piggyback on the back of a pygmy
screaming “quickly, quickly” while i’m jabbing his kidneys
from the indies to sydney and in between
a cold war submarine is my limousine
a libertine with the sympathy of mr. bean
a pr-ck that means to to be inflammatory; so bring your antihistamines
i’m mr. meanness, i bring a list of misdemeanours
bigger than your sister’s p-n-s; how p-ssed the scene is
just switch your speakers off if you’re squeamish of
completed treatises and theses on faeces
i’m the bee’s knees; pollinating on the daily
i leave seeds, upon a range of lovely ladies
i ram-raided hades, with a mercedes
camera in the deceased’s faces: “say cheese!”
i’m from a place of make believe, and now i’m real
slightly hallucinatory, is how i feel
thou art kneeling before me; raw meat
ready to be churned and then turned into corned beef
b-lls deep in the rhythm like a p-rn scene
and j-sming, it’s beginning to get a bit like wall street
with all the greed, i’m growing taller than a broad bean
drag you to the park; folded in half like a lawn seat

[hook]
i’m cheltenham “douglby” digby
my witty words make your w-lly feel all wiggly
i’m cheltenham “douglby” digby
if folk don’t dig me, they don’t know diddly

- dan bull lyrics

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