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dan hicks & the hot licks - the piano has been drinking (not me) lyrics

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the piano has been drinking
++(piano has been drinking)
my necktie is asleep
++(tie is asleep)
and the combo went back to new york
++(back to new york)
the jukebox has to take a leak
++(gotta take a leak, now)
and the carpet needs a haircut
++(carpet needs a haircut)
and the spotlight looks like a prison break
++(it’s bright!)
’cause the telephone’s out of cigarettes
++(all outa ciggies)
the balcony is on the make
++(on the make)
and the piano has been drinking
++(piano has been drinking)
the piano has been drinking
++(piano has been drinking)
mmmmm…

and the menus are all freezing
++(menus are freezing)
and the light man’s blind in one еye
++(blind in one eyе)
and he can’t see out of the other
++(can’t see out of the other)
and the piano+tuner’s got a hearing aid
++++(say what?)
and he showed up with his mother
++(showed up with his mother)
and the piano has been drinking
++(piano has been drinking)
mmmm mmm mmmmmmm…
and the bouncer is a sumo wrestler
++(the bouncer is a wrestler)
cream+puff casper milktoast
++(casper milktoast)
and the owner is a mental midget
++(mental midget)
with the i.q. of a fence post
(with the i.q. of a fence post)
’cause the piano has been drinking
++(piano has been drinking)
the piano has been drinking
++(piano has been drinking)
mmmmm…

and you can’t find your waitress
++(can not find your waitress)
with a geiger counter
(geiger counter)
and she hates you and your friends
and you just can’t get served without her
(can’t get served without her)
and the box+office is drooling
++(box+office is drooling)
and the bar stools are on fire
++(talk about a hot seat!)
and the newspapers were fooling
++(they were only fooling)
and the ash+trays have retired
++(have retired)
and the piano has been drinking
++(piano has been drinking)
the piano has been drinking
++(not me, not me)
not meeeeeeeeeeeeee…
(meeeeeeeeeeeeee…)



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