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danakadan - afterwords lyrics

[verse 1: danakadan]
so what comes next, i want to ask her
what could be written down in this chapter
was never really focused on the present, just the after
cuz all that i was after, has changed now that i’ve passed her
what would you like to happen, now that this has happened
should i decide or are you the one to fathom
make up for lost time, or accept this situation
between us are two nations, and more than immigration
it’s complex, language barriers more than text
something large yet intimate that no one could expect
i need to stop at how crazy this is sounding
it’s only been a month and already i have been doubting
already i have forgotten, not on purpose, but i confess
i have gone back to how it was before we met
and it was easy, it’ll grow easier, the longer time escapes
is this something that you fear, something you haven’t faced
if you never see my face, are you prepared for this
and if we can never relate then can we persist
very real questions, i doubt we’ll have an answer
it is what it has to be if we ever have a chance here

[verse 2: danakadan]
so what comes next, i have to ask me
and do it sooner than later before it pass me
if you asked me back then how i was feeling
told you i was fine, but thoughts i was concealing
cuz i wasn’t ok, this information cut deep
the concept of a family was something foreign to me
i mean i love my family, but i wasn’t complete
it wasn’t deceit, i just wanted to meet
which brought upon it such confusion and stress
i was becoming a mess, internally i just hoped for the best
i felt a little guilt for my father who had just passed
so to meet my bio dad it was happening too fast
and what does blood truly mean anyways
the way that i was raised, it was never at play
so my relationship with others, i just took with a grain
trying to figure out myself, with no one ever to blame
so can i blame you
if i f+cked up as a kid, can i say you
if i felt inner shame, does it shame you
so let me say it in my own way
it doesn’t matter what has happened, only what will change

[chorus: sam kang]
caught in my head, hold my mind
all i’ve done with all my time
all goes back to you
caught in my heart, hold my soul
all i’ve done and all i’ve known
all goes back to you
so we’re better off
better off somehow
better off
better off, somehow

[bridge: danakadan]
i don’t know when i will see you, it could be years
or whether we can make it, and these are fears
legitimate fears that seem to haunt me now and then
that brought me to this pen, that i write to you and send
with words you’ll never read, a place you’ll never know
a person you’ve never seen, emotions seem to roam
how can this grow, not just us, but both the homes
cuz even with more family, i’m feeling more alone

- danakadan lyrics

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