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dane cook - my son optimus prime lyrics

i think about having kids. i’d love to have some kids.
i’ve been thinking about kids. i wanna have like 19 kids.
i think naming them, that’s gonna be fun.
whatever the names you come up with, that’s exciting, right there.
you get to both decide, “hey, do you wanna name that. nooo i don’t like
that. alright.” it’s like a little game, you try and come up with…
i already have names picked out. i don’t even know.
first kid, boy, girl. i don’t care. first one that comes out i’m naming it
rhrhrhh.
i think it’s beautiful. it’s feminine but strong at the same time.
“time for bed rhrhr. i said time for bed rhrhrhrhhr!
no cookies rhrhrhr! typical rhrhr!
daddy’s on the phone rhrrh. daddy’s on the phone…”
i’m gonna name a group of kids after my favorite cartoon.
i’m gonna name a bunch of them after transformers. that’a be great!
oh ya! just to be like, “optimus prime come here for a second,
i wanna talk to you. come here. you sit next to megatron,
we’re gonna have a little chit-chat over here.
i am the cobra comander in this. rhrhrhrhrhrhr!
i said no cookies! rhrhrhrhrrhahrhrrhhaharhahhh!
rhrhrhrhrrhr! this f-cking hrhrrhrhrrh is driving me up a
f-cking wall! rhrhrhrhahrharharhahrhrhrhr!”
wouldn’t it be fun to have a bunch of kids and abandon them somewhere.
just knock em out of the car,
“i’m out. ”
what do you think they’d talk about? hahaha

- dane cook lyrics

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