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dane cook - turn on's slash turn off's lyrics

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there’s certain things in a person that turn you on.
they’re called turn-on’s. teeth. i love a girl with nice teeth.
if you have a nice set of teeth, that’s a turn-on for me.
if you open your lips and it’s like “fchank fchank fchank”,
if it’s like a b–by trap –
i don’t like when you open your mouth and it’s like a battle of epic
proportions goin’ on and your teeth are all screamin’ at each other.

“i’m a molar, wisdom tooth, get the f-ck out of my gums!”

“hi, i’m a buck tooth and i like to be outside, past the lips.
i enjoy a nice sea brezze from time to time.”

“ahh! i’m the crazy yellow tooth that looks like corn!
don’t brush me! don’t brush me! i have an imagine to uphold.
don’t brush me, i’m yellow. i’m a yellow fang.”

turn-on’s. then there’s something called turn-off’s and those are things
that turn you off.
if you were a droid, “uhnneww”, you’d be turned off.
like right off the bat, number one thing i don’t like:
i don’t like a stinky p-ssy. it’s a turn-off.
i don’t appreciate that.
ladies, i’m sure you don’t like a funky sack.
but then again, that’d be a great couple.

“you have a stinky p-ssy!”
“smell my sack!”
“ugh!”
“huh?”

turn-on’s slash turn-off’s – that’s what we’re talking about right now.

- dane cook lyrics

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