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dave bulmer - the ballad of mecha snata (wiggle he) lyrics

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[intro]
now the days are running slow
opportunity is yours
if there’s twenty-four to go
it’s time to open dores
the presents are all wrapped
and the tree is in its place
for ’tis the season to disrupt
the flow of time and sp-ce

[verse 1]
blasting through the sky
in a blaze of sparkly hate
oh, sweet jesus, why?
it’s mecha-snatter, mate
he’s smashing up your house
he will go to any length
and the only way to stop him is to
summon up your strength, and…

[chorus 1]
oh, wiggle he, wiggle he
smack him to his bum
soon as he’s emerging, cast aspersions on his mum
oh, pull him beard, smack him face
deck his mecha halls
tell him that the mum of he done spleeing with us all

[verse 2]
centuries long-past
on a merry christmas day
snatter born at last
in a stable in a sle
him beard grow magically
with the words that burgess spoke
“someday he will grow up to be that father christmas bloke.”

what’s that overhead?
from dimensions unexplored
a megalith of dread
a festive juggernaut
one giant clawlike hand
and a cannon on one arm
and it’s here to blow up christmas
and to cause destructive harm

[chorus 1]
so wiggle he, wiggle he
smack him to his bum
soon as he’s emerging, cast aspersions on his mum
oh, pull him beard, smack him face
deck his mecha halls
tell him that the mum of he done spleeing with us all

[bridge 1]
every christmas eve, we get trapped in a calendar
each successive door tells of claus’ early days
just don’t eat the poo that we found in the calendar
try not to be a big bum o hehe m8

[choral break]
wiggle he, wiggle he, wiggle he, wiggle he!

[chorus 1]
so wiggle he, wiggle he
smack him to his bum
soon as he’s emerging, cast aspersions on his mum
oh, pull him beard, smack him face
deck his mecha halls
tell him that the mum of he done spleeing with us all

[bridge 2]
overhead a cold and wet
christmas hero flies
going back to bravely
sacrifice his lives
so smack him to his bum!

[chorus 2]
wiggle he, wiggle he
spin him ’round and ’round
breach his outer defenses or something even more profound
oh, fl!ck his ears, tw-ng his nose
dush him in the face
use a drastic elastic band and launch him into sp-ce

[chorus 3]
wiggle he, wiggle he
poke him in the eyes
kick him where his presents are and all that that implies
oh, wind him up, tell him off
demonstrate your scorn

[outro]
he can’t touch us anymore
now snatter claus is born!
snatter claus is born!

- dave bulmer lyrics

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