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dave malloy - too soon lyrics

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iv. karaoke night

sadie
i never actually went on any dates
instead i just stayed home
playing my game
and checking to see if jasmine had texted yet

zippy
yeah jeez sadie, you’ve been kind of a downer lately

sadie
wow thanks zippy

zippy
aw i’m just joshin’! we love you!
everyone’s so excited for karaoke night!

(wolf, as mr. lupus, sets up a karaoke mic.)

wolf
come on up, come on up
we’ve got all your favorite tunes!
but if you wanna play, you gotta pay
so better go earn that coin coin coin!
sadie
my grandparents used to loooove karaoke
their friends would come over and sing all the old hits
while i ran around freshening everyone’s drinks

so i set up a little karaoke bar in the game!

wolf
who wants some mezcal?

sadie
on my third night in the desert
i had found eight cases of new mexican mezcal
that my aunt had stashed away in her bas+m+nt

wolf (serving them drinks)
two mezcals, neat

zippy
neat!

sadie
i’d never been much of a drinker before
but boy did lockdown change that!
cheers!
(sadie and zippy cheers and drink)

zippy
gaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
tastes like campfire!

(the musicians come back to their seats.)

wolf
hey how about this karaoke band we got here?
now who’s up first?
ah here we go, we’ve got grandma
grandma come on up!
grandma’s gonna take us all the way back
with “too soon.”
big hand for grandma!

v. too soon

(grandmother takes the stage. sadie and zippy sit at a table and drink.)

grandmother
it’s too soon
for this to fall apart
don’t break my heart
when it’s barely found its beat
it’s too soon
i just picked up my pen
you just taught me to sing again

i thought i saw a smile on your lips
just before you walked away
through the streetlit shadow snow
how could you go?
it’s too soon

sadie
jasmine still hasn’t texted

zippy
aw, sorry sadie

sadie
and she hasn’t posted anything either!
like the only way i even know she’s alive is spotify—
which just means i get to obsess over that now
oh, she’s listening to kate bush? she misses me
oh, she’s listening to sonic youth? she’s angry
oh, she’s listening to al green and sade?
at 11pm on a sat+rday night?
oh f+ck she’s making out with someone!

i mean, it’s right there—
i can look whenever i want!

zippy
you could also unfollow her…

grandmother
and i just don’t want it to be over
i just don’t want it to end
i just don’t want it to be over
i just don’t want it to end

sadie
honestly i don’t even miss s+x

zippy
oh jeez—

sadie
i just miss touch
cuddles and snuggles
caresses and strokes
fiddling with her arm hair
tracing the cat scratches on her ribs
playing tiny wrestling
telling stories through touch
god, i just want to touch her one more time!

grandmother
it’s too soon
there’s so much we haven’t done
give me one more night
to nibble on your thighs

we haven’t danced yet
i haven’t twirled you ‘cross the room
and made you swoon
while the jukebox slowly dies

(sadie joins the singing, drunk and too loud)

all but wolf
i can’t quite remember the last time
that i wrote a love song
quite as terrible as this

grandmother
now give me a kiss
it’s too soon

sadie (very drunk)
oh god jasmine! what the f+ck am i gonna do?!

(sadie stumbles to the mic and joins grandmother.)

sadie & grandmother
and i just don’t want it to be over
i just don’t want it to end

no i just don’t want it to be over
i just don’t want it to end

(sadie takes the mic and goes wild)

all
no i just don’t want it to be over

wolf
hey, hey you didn’t pay the coin fee!
get offa that stage!

all
i just don’t want it to end

wolf
hey, hey you didn’t pay the coin fee!
get offa that stage!

all
no i just don’t want it to be over

wolf
hey, hey you didn’t pay the coin fee!
get offa that stage!

all
i just don’t want it to end

wolf
abominable, abominable behavior!
that’s it, your karaoke privileges are revoked!
way to ruin it for everyone piggo!

- dave malloy lyrics

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