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david a. scott - jingle bell rock (literal music video) lyrics

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[hall version]
[verse 1]
bobblehead, bobblehead, walk like a duck
reach for embrace, move gifts from your face
goofy expression, we finished the tree
now exchange some lame gifts with me

i’m a g-y lumberjack shakin’ a box
family outside, let’s go and say hi
watch both our hands as we strut over here
our presents disappeared!

[chorus]
everything’s fake, wacky handshake
as i let in the geek
bunch of drunk guys, leave them outside
it ain’t new year’s for another week

[verse 2]
special kid got a drum, look at his hat
too much green in this shot
open the present to reveal a guitar
what a big freakin’ shock

[bridge]
string interlude, our granny’s a dude

[chorus]
it’s a smoke bomb, now it’s santa!
his make-up’s way too thick
stupid dance time, don’t i look like
elvis and howdy doody had a kid

[outro]
cardigan, old guy wig, drunks still outside
someone should call a cop!
cut to a close-up so you no longer see
my green hammer slacks
play the plastic sax
guitar playin’ grandma!

[oates version]
[verse 1]
conan o’brien clone, randall from clerks
parachute pants, too many presents
o face and center wipe, ornament shot
now to find out what cr-p we bought

tacky green cardigan, please don’t be socks
rest of the band, g.e. wearing drag
walk like a robot away from the tree
to the tiny wreath

[chorus]
overacting, funny arm thing
they brought us bags and stuff
here come more dudes trying to get through
but their costumes aren’t dumb enough

[verse 2]
watch me pretend to inflate this turkey
here’s something else to pluck
i won’t allow you to unwrap it yourself
i’m a jingle a bell schmuck!

[bridge]
solo in g, our granny’s a he

[chorus]
something scared us, now it’s st. nicolas!
with way too much eyelash
where’s his eyes go? one-man disco!
get a close-up of my sweet mustache

[outro]
urkel pants, santa claus, brawny guy’s son
old guy just had a stroke?
won’t look directly in the camera lens
did those two just kiss?
that makes me jealous!
end this dumb video!

- david a scott lyrics

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