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david chidiac - diary of a sad man lyrics

(hook 1)
i miss the ups
i miss the downs
i miss the crazy nights
i miss the hugs
i miss the tears
i miss the crazy fights
i miss her smile
i miss her laugh
i miss the crazy lies
the zaniness was all we ever had
we crazy right?
i guess that drama was the price for the crazy ride
i guess we are what we are in the dark of night

(verse 1)
the pitch black switch that she pulled so suddenly
ushered me out of a state of peace so hurriedly
i rushed and i scrambled to find the light switch but this b-tch oh-ho yeah she got the drop on me
i had to figure out a way to escape her vice
she dug her claws deep inside and she gripped my soul tight
i could feel her pulse beat me so thoroughly
but i just fought through the pain, broke away and kept struggling
crawling out of sight i had to hide inside my mind
i guess that’s a metaphor for better thoughts of life without a lie
my armor was a catapult for my other lives
a way to reach out, scream out, and touch the sky
i had to know that i would walk into serrated eyes
hopping off the train and right into a broken smile
the heartbreak was heartache for the 1000 lies
i guess we are what we are in the dark of night

(hook 2)
i hate the ups
i hate the downs
i hate the crazy nights
i hate the hugs
i hate the tears
i hate the crazy fights
i hate her smile
i hate her laugh
i hate the crazy lies
the zaniness is all i’ve really got
somebody come and save me i’m in a state of fright
i guess that drama was the price for the crazy ride
i guess we are what we are in the dark of night

(verse 2)
yeah we’re crazy but ain’t that what real love is?
that warm feeling when we’re laying under covers
covers up the world and hides the pain we get from others
the shield we used, or abused like rubbers
to keep away the ones who don’t love us
is how i got through to the others
connected on levels even i couldn’t fathom
so i’mma be the reiner going up and at them
launching at the stars
but my dreams stopped at mars
and left me stranded chasing hearts
i guess my house was made of cards
and tucked away i lay awake and ponder how she made me quake knowing life was still at stake
cause our cup’s no easy bake cake that she could throw away so i changed my direction and decided i should make a break for the f-cking gate, before she figures out the figure’s out
my numbers not the same, and it’s such a f-cking shame that we should come to blows this way, and know that winds won’t ever change what we said and how we changed because we never felt the same up until our final time
my imagination was the parallel to real life
our real lives were evil lies filled with real strife
oh yes i am what i am in the dark of night

(hook 3)
i’ve given up
i’ve let her down
all through this crazy night
she won’t hug
she just cries
all we ever do is fight
she never smiles
she never laughs
all she does is lie
this depression’s what i really have
i need her light
i guess that drama is the price for a happy life
i guess we are what we are in the dark of night

(verse 3)
cause this is me
this is all i have on the table
so why you gotta act like my sh-t’s so unstable
wobbling like i’m packing a hurt leg
i heard dread is really worse if you’re worth less
so why you gotta act like i’m so worthless
if i never did what i said would it really hurt less
if a kid had of come would we make it through the mess
am i really so blessed to be feeling so left out of your pain
do i have to get dressed?
did you want me to leave?
should i stay here and play?
comfort you?
should i leave?
i mean really
what could i really do?
when did you really ever think that i was worth you?
i mean i never intended to go and hurt you
but when i saw what you were then i guess i got rude
then i had to intrude
put up a shield yeah you locked all the doors, i just had to burst through
like a lion i roared
then i walked out the door holding on to goodbyes and a promise for no pain that i’ll hold true
and i don’t wanna go through life with a feeling that i’m gonna know true pain again
cause my brain is dead
it can’t take all the shame again
so i’ll say it then…

(verse 4)
i can’t even begin to describe all the nausea i felt when her eyes came alive and she looked deep inside and decided to burn up the room with her mind
like a mutant she tried, but i swooped in and lied, told her words that weren’t right
but deep inside i just couldn’t lose her
instead like a jameson i went and abused her
any chance for even a hint of action
i had to scream like i’m janet jackson
the fact was i was jacked up on some bad love that was attracting me to the bad luck
now i’m playing all my hands while i kneel in the sand and i’m looking at the sky like why god?!

(30 second interlude of silence and diagetic environmental noise)

because you are what you are in the dark of night…

- david chidiac lyrics

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