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david deacon - hand in the blender lyrics

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[verse 1]
i guess you could call this a loser’s advice
you should always know if her mother is nice
‘cause she can cut you down faster than a saw
once that fat old woman’s your mother+in+law

[verse 2]
her daughter was delightful on sat+rday nights
she was perfectly willing to show the sights
but when i can home her daddy was behind the door
with a great big gun threatening me with gore
[verse 3]
so, i went to the church just to buy some time
but the law made me honour what i did sign
now i’m stuck in a marriage with a fat surly mum
like i walked down a street that was littered in gum

[verse 4]
her great big belly is bigger than her bust
her suburban life has been vacant of l+st
she’s got a wicked temper just like a switch blade
and even cooled down, she’s a hundred in the shade

[verse 5]
seeing her is like having your hand in a blender
and god knows heaven ain’t where he’s going to send her
but until he gets around to doing his job
i got to find someplace just to lose this slob

[verse 6]
so, give me a ticket or buy me a car
‘cause she took all my money and i won’t get far
and i’ll leave you with a little advice
you should always know if her mother is nice

[outro]
i’ll leave you with a little advice
you should always know if her mother is nice

- david deacon lyrics

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