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ddnovember - solace in summer lyrics

[intro]
nana na, na na
mmmh, mmh
whoa

[verse]
i don’t know where my heads at
feelin’ like i’m fallin’ in the problems that i can’t hash
just tryna go solve em, feel i’m drowning in the trauma
gettin’ haunted by the lucid dreams i ponder in my conscience
head+sp+ce been torn apart, surprised that i’m not heartless
through the rainy days, i cover up the pain with different portraits
i been mentally assaulted, but i know that its my fault
feelin’ like my mental stuck inside the bottom of a tarpit
but i’m cautious, feel like my psyche’s stuck in orbit
brain is plagued with the dysphoria that keeps my dreaming dormant
steady orphaned from the thoughts that i can’t seem to go and set aside
its hard to reconcile with all the reasons that you dead inside
seeing faces in the mirror i can’t recognize
dissociated to the feelin’s i can’t heal when devilized
i keep on hearing everyday that everything will be okay, but sh+t’s in flames
and i just face the facts that girl i know that i’m a liar
i know that i pretend that sh+t is straight but then i hide thee pain and cover it with a smile
but its hard to close my eyes
only seeing all the nightmares that i cancel out with every other thing i’m keeping quiet
and i’m tryna speak my mind
but every single word that’s on my brain is getting harder to come out without me crying
but i still don’t feel alive
i can’t recall the last time that i smiled, i think it happened in the time i thought i died
goin’ blinded cause the vibrance on the island been distorted
mixin’ memories with massacres that happened in my fortress
i’m tryna find euphoria but formulas for happiness been hittin’ my disorders
causin’ me to feel so nauseous
i’m starvin’ for some peace of mind
i’m losin’ pieces of my mind tryna find peace and quiet
the voices up inside my head been fightin’, gettin’ louder
cause when god took back my homies, i couldn’t fathom life without ’em
yea
the broken promises fell, the broken hearts ain’t go’n heal
the days that still don’t seem real been happenin’ again
i been out gettin’ these chills and still don’t know how to feel
accepted that i’m the villain just tryna make amends
i lost one friend to the pills, i lost another on wheels
can’t even comprehend the tragedies that happen often
been makin’ cry’s for help while still in h+ll
lookin’ for the day i get away, until then i just go and pray to take me back to november
when all my actions were passive and all my passions were hazardous
open caskets filled with enemies that went out so vengeful
my thoughts been actually blasphemous, loved ones stabbed in the back
and real friends turned into distant memories i still can’t remember
my heart been frozen since them coldest winters
going through the motions, time been going, but i’m overdosing
on the serotonin that i had throughout the summer
makin’ problems turn to promises that’s lastin’ forever
whao
[outro]
mmh, mmh
mmh, na na na
nana na, na na
nana na, na na
nana na, na na
nana na, na na
whoa
shouts out avnue

- ddnovember lyrics

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