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dead silent - memories lyrics

[verse 1]
it’s the only thing i’m good at
don’t know how to put it
but i got my foot in way too deep to turn around
sick of being wound up in this little town
spending more than my bank will allow
living on my last check
out of breath
working 9-5 to build a safety net
music’s all that’s really left
everybody’s either deaf or left unimpressed
i’m not empty minded, i got empty hands
trying to catch the moment, never finding where it lands
can’t afford new pants
got the money, but i know my life has different plans
sticking to my guns wherever they’re banned
friends? yeah i got em, but they’re always mad
never got the time, they pine for my attention
weekends occupied
weekdays, all the seven
speeding hit me with a fine
bank account locked
debit card just got declined
ran a red light, broke a headlight
patience threadlike
pay my ticket on the website
college? can’t afford it now
guess i gotta forfeit
wow, guess i really blew it
what’s the purpose now?
can’t release my music without money
how did i dig myself deeper in this hole
being an adult is taking a toll
i can barely pay for my petrol
i never smoke, but my lungs are full
burnout high school b-ms never meeting ends
yeah it’s kind of funny
cause now i’m in the same boat as them

[chorus]
now all i have are memories that bleed together perfectly
money that i’ve lost
don’t know how to stop
addictive personality
poison spreading through my veins like novocaine, it’s inhumane
give me good advice
no one ever tries
living out a life that might as well suffice
now all i have are memories that bleed together perfectly
conscious decisions eat away at me
everything is done hedonistically
poison spreading through my veins
my weakness makes my body ache
i hate this place
got one foot out the door
slaving away for nothing anymore

[verse 2]
feels like i’m at it for years at a time
six years since i first jotted a line
yeah, and my writing sucks
yeah it must
even though n-body ever said it does
i live and breathe it, but i feel defeated
cause n-body’s ever
taking the time to read and be picking apart the lines
they just want a flow that rhymes, sounding dope and tight
never want a piece of something i can make
frigid enough to make your body shake
wait
no i don’t got the patience
scribble then then take my pencil and erase it
future for my music?
don’t know how to do it
greedy with my time
but don’t know how to use it properly
with the possibility that i’ll never get props or be
the man in their eyes
how can i make it in a market largely oversaturated?
in over my head but living by my own means
making sacrifices for my home team
tryna face myself like i’m scared of what i think
always pace myself like i’m scared of what i drink
i’m ripping apart the ability and the agility in my me
that imminently got me into the industry, now are you feeling me?
cause i’ve been willingly giving my illest without the senility
only one in the vicinity that’s k!lling it with no hostility
what?
credibility is what i feel i need
cause no one’s feeling me
you don’t gotta be into my p-ssion
a little respect is all i’m asking

[verse 3]
got no pain to feed
i’m numb now
funny how the situation never turned around
you relapse on paink!llers
i relapse on pain
still i got these friends acting strange
i’ll rip out a page and dedicate it to them
they’ll put on a face you never really knew
and sharpened a knife just to put me through it
sure is nice, what a sense of humor
careful what you wish and what you’ve been persistent on
never wipe the floor your friends are p-ssing on
caught up in a false sense of confidence
building walls, plotting against
everything that i am not
waiting patiently for the past to rot
my friend, if you are so smart
then riddle me this
you see me as a threat for a few mistakes
you know good and well i’d never do the same
this isn’t me, i’m not s-d-stic
finder’s fee out for my lost existence
you’re not consistent, never
so keep your distance
our lost endeavors mean nothing to me now
buried in the ground
seven feet beneath us
never getting out
you aren’t the first to feel this torn
but you need to realize that i’m not the source
i’m sick of this, i’m not your scapegoat
antagonist, you’ve lost your place now
story of your life as you see through your eyes
realize that i’m not vital to the plot
twist your stomach in several knots
bet you’ll miss me now that the point’s across

- dead silent lyrics

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