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deadly ever after - the fat man lyrics

[hook + intro] everybody loves the fat man
and oh how the fat man can love (x4) yo, (the fat man, uncut, b-tch | the fat man, clean, chick) don’t mess with me or i’ll blow up like a f-cking landmine
and do the same to your school that those two kids did [columbine]
well, at least i even f-cking graduated from college
cuz those first twelve grades didn’t give me no d-mn knowledge
and you could even set a world record
how bout “how many [planes] can you aim at the [world trade center]”
or “how many offensive things can you put in a rap song”
(i don’t know, like 25?) come on, b-tch, let’s all sing-along
on stage, the ladies gon’ all throw they bra’s
or if they’re [atheists,] they’ll probably throw it at [the cross]
when i took a hiatus from rapping, i got a 9-to-5
you n-gg-s better be glad i’m even f-cking alive
that shit was hard, harder than me watching porn
while my d-ck’s getting poked by a thorn
eating candy corns, and it’s not even halloween
and i have freaking genital warts and it hurts when i take a wee-wee
the police siren go wee-wee, let’s go
there was this one young -ss fellow
he did a lot of heroin, the name was [dan manero]
and he was really mellow, but his brain was gone to mush, like a motherf-cking cup of jello
and his favorite band was n’sync
he would listen to “bye bye bye” while [c-mming in the sink]
[manero] would always threaten to stab me with a meat cleaver
and he would smash my f-cking face on top of a parking meter

[hook]

[verse two]
did jews drink booze and apple juice
thats the best mix when you see tom green hump a dead moose
i hate when i hear someone got molested
how many offensive jokes can i make before i get arrested
and my old house is infested
with some rhymes i never had
one rhyme was called “i have a dad”
that shit sounded sad
and if it did, i’m glad
i mean, that would be rad
what if pouring salt on a snail
would get you 25 to life in jail
everybody hates the fat man
but they love the skinny
man, i’m seeing all yellow
god d-mn it, pooh, the, winnie
saying n-gg- more times than [silence]
when i got a lot on my mind, i just do the codeine, ya see
i don’t know what anything means
the only thing restoring me is puffing on the leaf
my car broke down and i’m walking down the road
my luck, i f-cking crash the car in drunk mode
then i order a mail order bride that i don’t even need
then for the real effect, i do the overload on weed
then i take a real big bite of a big mac
breath so f-cking bad you need some acid and a tic-tac
doing a rap battle and my opponents so wack
this n-gg-‘s disses be hurting my god d-mn back

[hook]

- deadly ever after lyrics

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