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deca - aquarium lyrics

[intro: voice sample]
they callin’ me man
they callin’ me man
i just gotta talk to ‘em
i need help

[verse 1]
the bridge over troubled waters collapse submerged
locked in my room, fightin’ to hold back the urge
to relapse, too full of pride to cry for help
playin’ solitaire with the cards that i been dealt
just relax, yo get through this
crack a twenty-two and take a few sips
dwelling on past regrets is useless
see usually the way i deal with addiction
is callin’ up the street pharmacist to fill the prescription
tossin’ and turnin’, cursin’ the monster i’ve become
i can hear ‘em talkin’ now man i never seen this side of him
insomniac used to this side of the risin’ sun
can’t seem to pinpoint exactly what it is i’m hidin’ from
slip into the pitfall, i set the trap myself
then get my current girlfriend to nurse me back to health
there’s no end to this, the cycle repeats
no rest, too afraid of dyin’ in my sleep
no relief from the pain unless i k!ll it with pills
no release from the clutches of addiction it’s real
just a lost child searchin’ in vain for peace of mind
if i die before i wake man what will i leave behind?

[chorus]
if i die before i wake man what will i leave behind?
if i die before i wake man what will i leave behind?
if i die before i wake man what will i leave behind?
if i die before i wake man what will i leave behind?

[verse 2]
the hedonistic lifestyle that we’ve depicted
pleasure seekers do whatever to feed the sickness
and led to the demise of the aesthetic inside
credit the high, pathetic shoulda let it survive
wonder where i’d be now if i’d have kept it alive
instead accepted the lies it fed embedded in my head
i’m dead to it all, i’m at the point where i feel
like savin’ the world is just a juvenile ideal
this is the first time i’ve written in two months
confused [?] skrill for a few fronts
f-cked a few girls in that time, almost flatlined
self worth and moral value at a decline
i’m falling deeper
bottom feeder scr-ppin’ the barrel
a perilious ride of habits that i carefully hide
i’m fallin’ deeper
soul creature turned savage beast
used to be the dream chaser envisionin’ the masterpiece
hunger decreased, true substance over sustenance
my alter ego’s quick to rush to my defense
the lost child searchin’ in vain for peace of mind
if i die before i wake man what will i leave behind?

[verse 3]
i’m a slave to vice
[?] swallow smoke or snort ‘em
dabbled in drugs since my youth just to cope with boredom
so what’s the deal my man?
deal the hand, enough to k!ll a man
copped an eighty milligram that got me feelin’ grand
crush the pill then roll up another dolla dolla bill y’all
would be a franklin but i spent all my skrill y’all
up in the dungeon again, now how i’m gonna win
devil on my shoulder gettin’ under my skin
whisperin’ temptations, fruit from the true of knowledge
mourn over the loss of a childhood dream of findin’ the key to all this
sweatin’ bullets all restless and agitated
obsessin’ over it, aggressive tendency activated
i’m the lumox, sick to my stomach, punished by the gods
you can’t escape the beast once you’re inside of his jaws
i gotta find a way out of this mess
find another way to unwind, i’m wastin’ my time
you are my sunshine, sad but true
i haven’t seen a glimpse of light for the past three days but i’m not mad at you
i had to bounce before i got too attached to you
see i’m no different from the fiends on the avenue

- deca lyrics

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