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decuma - talent show. lyrics

[chorus]
can’t we talk?
i learned how to play your favorite song
i hate it when you’re here but i’m too young to make it on my own
and i’m afraid of what will happen when you’re gone
so i learned your favorite song, it goes…

[intro]
okay

thin line between help and harm
years short, but the seconds long
i can’t help that i get attached
you lose things and can’t get them back
thin line between help and harm
years short, but the seconds long
i can’t help that i get attached
you lose things and can’t get them back
you lose+
[verse 1]
make my birth name feel like a slave name, it rolls off the tongue wrong
f+ck it, just call me decuma
told him she touched me, he laughed like, “you getting lucky, i wish i were you”
the difference is that he wishes it
in fact i heard he starts b+tching if he hasn’t slid it in by minute sixty
his ex girlfriend exclaims, “he hit me!”
you’d think she’d get where i’m coming from when no one takes you seriously
but she touched me and said, “if you speak up, imma scream”
i suppose it’s just a black man thing
its a different set of laws for n+ggas
he’s giving black eyes cause of blue b+lls and he’s free to walk
meanwhile i get in trouble when i say that i’m being stalked
you made my birth name feel like a slave name, but

[chorus]

[verse 2]
i think they love to fetishize me cause adults love to see sharp minors like chopin
growing smokescreen, your dreams blow away and they fall flat
before he grabs the pole and puts on a percussion concierto, march you to your funeral all quick like
my biggest dream is to die in my sleep instead of violently
and i was told i set the bar too high
just tap dancing for the crackers hoping i don’t die
you told me men were purely s+xual creatures, i tensed up and felt i had a fever
my heartbeat could shake the ether, my anger could drown a god
my anger gone get me k!lled, you feel me?
it comes out as a joke, that’s the only way that you hear me
i felt i was a product to be consumed
a jester in front of a tyrant, knowing he’s fighting for life, and if he stops entertaining, he knows he’ll by dying soon
the police driving down i+95 in 25, murder in the eyes, so
[chorus]

[verse 3]
i tried to scrub until i didn’t feel dirty;
my skin peeled
then the blood felt exalting, at least the skin heals
tell me why doesn’t god love me the way that god made me?
tell me, how do i love myself when you tell me god hates me?
trauma turned my dualist, if i told myself i wasn’t my body i wouldn’t want do what i do to it
see, the blood felt exalting, and at least the skin heals
so the cutting turned religion, and i worshiped it for years
i thought things would be different, a talent show has a winner
i’ve always been told i’m gifted, but this is a different mission
i thought things would be different if i could just prove my worth
i didn’t get that i was used, and they’d just move to someone new
why is every love i’ver ever known conditional?
every pain i’ve ever known centrifugal?
every religion, physical?
i’m so alone with my secrets, and so i shared them with this f+cking stuffed tiger just so that something could hear it

[chorus]
can’t we talk? i learned how to play your favorite song
i hate that this is how it goes, but i’m too young to make it on my own
and i’m afraid of what’ll happen when you’re gone, so i learned your favorite song
it goes
[verse 4]
n0body knows the trouble i see
glory, glory, glory, hallelujah
sometimes i’m up, sometimes i’m down

- decuma lyrics

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