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deddreamer - think about life (remix) (live) lyrics

[intro]
yeah, feidorei

[verse]
once again, i’m home alone
yes, i want friends, but i don’t want you calling my phone
my corpse on the ground, like “i am bones”
i’m just starting out, i am not known
or am i gonna die? will i continue to roam?
i don’t wanna be k!lled, better stay in my zone
“does anyone love you?” i’ma tell them “no”
gun to my head, finna have my mind blown
ah, only bad thoughts in my head
is this a dream or am i already dead?
if i’m not dead, how am i gonna die?
but i won’t cause i was never even alive
ah, i just wish i knew the outcome
i’m in the middle of the battle like i’m malcolm
baby, i know we both just hate our lives
but i would die for you, so i need you alive
these are my thoughts when i think about life
my life was dark ‘til you brought in the light
but the darkness from the past comes to haunt me
if you think i’m happy, well that is not me
my dad let me down and i let down my father
no room for forgiveness, i wouldn’t even bother
i will be better to my son or my daughter
i drown in my tears and they drown in the water
i write the text but i will never send
you replaced me, but i thought we were friends
mind is corrupted and it starts to bend
but now i remember that friends end
they always do and the friendship always dies
‘cause in every friendship there’s always a lie
pain, i know i make no one proud
so who’s gonna k!ll me and put me in the ground?
yeah, i don’t wanna talk no more
don’t let anyone in, just close the door
deddreamer ‘cause all my dreams are dead
pain when i sleep, my home is my bed
my bed is my home ‘cause i feel safe
i can share my problems without any shame
wait, i don’t have anyone to tell, though
wanna go to heaven, i already feel like i’m in h+ll, though
but talking to you makes me feel like i’m in heaven
like i’m sitting next to juice, r.i.p., legend
who’s the minister and who’s the reverend?
cross on my neck like i’m part of the brethren
i wanna be committed like mineo or lecrae
so i put in my effort everyday
but who’s gonna listen to what i have to say?
let me be with her, to god i pray
because she’s the only one that listens
how should i cope? should i start sippin’?
ripped heart, ripped out, back, rip in
i’m always thinking ‘bout you, it’s you i’m missin’
you was telling me, “baby, one day”
i hope that one day comes by this sunday
oh, but i’m in the booth on this monday
so if it doesn’t happen, it will be my gun day
yeah, i got too many enemies
i feel like it will be the end of me
and baby, you’re my only remedy
re+me+dy
at this point, i’m just desperate
feel like i’m under control like i’m arrested
so who gonna listen to my suggestion?
baby, you’re my only obsession
so when i have a question
baby, i’m just worried you won’t be there to answer
and yes, when someone hurts you i get some form of aggression
then the problem starts to spread just like cancer
i know you hate when i say i hate myself
i’m sorry, i don’t wanna lose you, you’re the only light in this living h+ll
and i get a little desperate, when you’re gone for a while
maybe one day the from distance between us won’t be so many miles

- deddreamer lyrics

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