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deerest friends - the quarry between you and me lyrics

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standing with all my weight on the freeway
it doesn’t seem so far now
i hold onto these hard feelings
without arms extending out
like the trapper releasing his prey
or on the interstate tearing up on fathers day

at the end of april 2009 we knew you were already dying
too young to get it but the sight of your body rotting mortified me
ohhh christ i pretended not to care
at your funeral i wished i could’ve joined you there
this feeling is the hardest thing
the guilt and relief when you were released

sometimes you’ve made me want to k!ll myself
with the medications that won’t help
and it’s hard to recognize that
i’d rather been able to stand beside
than never have had you in my life

and when you died you didn’t think of leaving anything behind
last week i dreamt every night i found something you wanted me to find
ohhhh christ, i pretended not to hear
that voice in your songs, the only way of having you near
this feeling is the hardest thing
when i read about me in your diaries
if love is watching someone die
i’d watch you die a thousand times

- deerest friends lyrics

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