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defcee & boathouse - qtna lyrics

look, ma! no hands!
turning money to water
the high priests of credit
pouring my blood on the altar
runway out my wallet
cleared another departure
interrupting arguments
mother shushing my father
thought i was making more than living check+
to+check
but debt is debt
at the gas pump, prayin i didn’t spend the
rent
my signature in etch+a+sketch
it was shaken down
scramble to cover leaks with putty before the
rain’s aground
strict diets of spending limits and budget
cuts
skipped a meal when i was broke, now i can’t
stomach lunch
i’ve seen pеople i love burned to a bluntеd
husk
their will is always tested, but they never
study much
dollars late, years short, apocalypses fear
wrought
veered off, into dark corners where the tears
caught
escape was just the price of what the beer
cost
non+responsive asking what i’m here for
was i living or surviving?
shuffled through the days, pretending that i
was trying
moved through the cold, while my mood hit
the lows
mind on my money, i was losing’em both
i went hungry til the starving stopped
bill collectors ringing, and i would telllem
their calls had dropped
no market for this music, i was told to pop
by people who would tell me, keep working
and hoped it flopped
write to prove’em wrong, fight to lose the
charm
armchair a&rs asking if i could move along
and treated gatekeeping like they were
crossing guards
narcissism meant that my mistakes never
taught me at all
i would fail, then learn to fall with grace
i’d talk to the squad, harm across my face
they kept one finger on the alarm in case
i found only one way to have my flaws erased
too shook to die at my own hand, but i used
to think i wouldn’t live to be a grown man
studying the difference between breathing
and surviving
while learning about how patient i can be
from inside it

- defcee boathouse lyrics

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